I am bipolar, recovering alcoholic, anorixic, been in severe depression for about 3 months. Now, I am in Denver away from home in Oklahoma where my husband and I brought our daughter for treatment to chronic eczema, asthma and food allergies. The care is very involved. I am exhausted now and we don’t go home for about a week. My psychiatrist has changed my meds, is helping a litlle, but I am overwhelmed with the care for my daughter. Trouble not wanting to die. Thinking even though I know it is not true that my daughter would be better without me. I feel like I am in the middle of a bad dream, but I am awake. I was not functioning before this trip, don’t know what I am going to do when I go home and my husband goes back to work. I hate my life. I don’t enjoy anything. Money is tight. I have a spending problem. Anyone who reads this and prays, please pray for a miracle, I really need one. It is hard too, because my daughter is 11 and knows I have been in distress. It is hard on her. She is very bright and perceptive. When I see her diappointment and pain when I can’t do something or I break a promise, I feel like crap. I love her, but I am feeling shell shocked, as she really is a special needs child. I have looked at other "special needs" family pictures and thought thank God that is not us. But it is and my depression is making it really hard to embrace. Hell, I am special needs and my care is overwhelming. Didn’t have much of a mother, which makes being one that much harder. I keep reading over what I have written, hoping to feel some relief at having expressed myself, but, so far, no. Please be kind and thoughtful if you choose to reply.
-
*possibly triggering*
Steph_jn, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Child, Depression, Medication, Sleep Disorders, 1
Years ago sleep was just something I did when I was tired and tried to get 6-8 hours each...
-
Hope
Lacey7, , Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, Relationships, 0
Hello! I am setting up a blog. Who am I? kind loving Green thumb (with flowers and plants!) enjoy...
-
Tired
tiredofbeingsad, , Depression, Career, Depression, Divorce, Medication, Relationships, 1
I don't know where to start. I have been depressed for so long. Was on medication for a while...
-
Hollow self
Theonlyone, , Depression, Grief, Sleep Disorders, 0
The Hollow Men T. S. Eliot Mistah Kurtz—he dead. A penny for the Old Guy I We are the...
-
Here To Help You
Trevvvssss, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, HIV or Aids, LGBT, Marriage & Family, OCD, Teens, Anxiety, Depression, Self Esteem, Sleep Disorders, Social Anxiety, Therapist, 3
Hello, friends! I just kinda wanted to create this to learn of things you’re going through and offer some...
-
Not getting better
deidrexx, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Obesity, Therapist, 0
I realize I'm not getting better. I'm doing all the same things I was doing before. Drinking, over spending,...
-
Numbness
mattmic, , Depression, Career, Child, Depression, Religion, Stress, Therapist, 0
When I worked for my dad, I missed a lot of days. It started as severe depression, then later...
-
Shadows in broad daylight
Azura_Mikio, , Depression, Anxiety, Grief, Parenting, 0
It feels as though time has stopped in this quiet house. Physical manifestations of the shackles that grip me...