Why is life so difficult, I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety all my life but only recently decided to face its existence in my life. In the beginning it felt like I was moving on auto pilot on a cycle telling myself “take your meds they will make you happier”, “be happy, feel happy, stop breaking down”, “get a hold of yourself” etc…
Now im just tired of it all the meds, people, feeling pain, unable to feel “normal” and it just feels like recently life has been trying to get me one turn after another. Just in the past 3 weeks I’ve ended up in 2 crashes via a truck and a car and surprisingly survived it all. Everyone tells me the same thing you going through a lot, I’m sorry, at least your alive and idk but I just have a feeling like no one has this many problems in their life and be considered ok right? When I broke down after both of these one of my friends said dang you are unlucky and what next and me being problematic like I am trying to laugh the pain off is like hahaha yeah first a truck now a car maybe a plane at this point but honestly it kinda feels like its next you know. The year hasn’t ended and every year around this time my life gets worse and worse.
Am I ok? Im not sure tbh but if I had to describe it I just wanna yell in a void and cry till I have no tears left.
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Feels like you were describing my life and how I feel except for the crashing part. My anxiety is so bad, that I don’t drive.
Definitely understandable. I might be at that point myself to be honest.
I hear you. I could use a yelling void myself. Holidays are a bad time of year for me, but most of the year is bad too. I have learned to fake it to do the things I have to do to survive.
It will get better at times, and you might be a lucky one that medicine helps.
Peace of God be with you.
I am sorry to hear things have been so challenging, if it comforts you in anyway, I feel like I can relate 100% at the moment. I have found journaling to be helpful sometimes , just to get the “yell” feeling out of my system. Have you found a cooing skill? Perhaps chatting more here could be helpful?