“NOTHING”

Depression.

Feeling empty.

Nothing.

These are the things on my mind.

Where to begin?

Love.

Men suck.

They don’t suck.

(YOU suck.)

Fell for him. 

He fell for you.

Or did he?

He changed his mind.

He’s gone.

I’m here.

Alone.

Again..

Is it worth it?

What’s the meaning of life?

Just a wondering.

How can you live in a world so big, so vast, so infinite. But also feel so alone and empty. 

Purge my thoughts.

Drown the thoughts.

Go to sleep.

Wake up.

Repeat.

Emptiness.

Nothing.

What is happiness?

They say it gets better.

Give yourself time to heal.

This has been my life for years.

It’s getting hard to pretend.

Pretend to have emotion.

Pretend to care.

Pretend to be happy.

No one likes a sad girl.

What’s the answer?

Is there such a thing of a revelation, an “ah ha” moment?

“This is it.”

“This is where my life begins.”

“I can finally be happy.”

I don’t see it.

Forever this way.

Nothing.

Waiting.

Wondering when my life will begin.

I try.

I try to change.

I try to cut out the negative.

Embrace the positive.

I’m not like them.

They don’t get me.

But don’t tell them.

It will scare them.

You’re too sad.

You’re too negative.

Put on your happy face.

But i’m exhausted.

It’s too hard.

Shut them out.

Hide away.

Don’t tell anyone.

You only need yourself.

But it’s so empty.

Let them in.

You’re lonely.

You let them in.

You still hide behind the mask.

The “I’m normal. I can be happy. Look at me, I can be healthy and happy”

It’s draining. 

Shut them out.

Alone again.

Let them back in, but there’s less of them around.

You cut them out too many times.

They don’t want to be around you.

You ARE exhausting.

And exhausted.

Raw.

Emotional.

Emotionless.

Nothing.