i'm not really sure what a blog is but i read a bunch and it seems just like you write about how your feeling or your past etc.  anyways, this weekend sucked.  i am divorced and it is the first easter since my wife moved out.  also it is the first easter after my mother died.  and one of my best friends from the after the divorce has stopped calling because we had a fight.  i apologized and said i'd leave it to her to call and she isn't calling.  its a complicated relationship, she is a closet case bisexual and when she was so supportive to me during the divorce i fell in love with her.  she got freaked out and totally abandoned me and we worked our way slowly back to being friends.  the romantic feelings don't matter to me, just the friendship is important, but she still gets freaked out and pushes me away.  her fear makes her not act in a way that is like a true friend.  for instance, i would call my friend after having a fight and patch things up–she is just blowing me off.  also, it was always for like 15 years, my wife, my mother, my stepfather and me for easter.  now it is just my stepfather and me.  we went to the grave site.  but noone in the family called and asked me if i was doing anythign.  my stepfather got an invite to my brothers.  noone else called me and asked me what i was doing.  i just feel so sad.  i cried and cried all weekend.  i did make plans with my friend keith and drove all the way to connecticut to see my foster daughter in college.  but still i miss my friend and my mom.

michelle