so quick(ish) update-

Today I have mostly been at the eating disorders (why oh why do I keep wanting to type disodours??) clinic to see if I merit profesional help…..

after a couple of hours talking to the (surprisingly nice and unshrinklike!) shrink it was time to step on the scales (eeek) frustratingly calibrated in kg so have no idea of the exact wieght (or as the pedant in me is quick to point out Mass!), it transpires that I have a BMI of 14 and thus achieve the somewhat dubious honour of  being "severely" skinnyrexic- (yes folks they do actually have distinct levels – you can be mild, moderate  or …. yes you got it..severe! ) .the sick puppy part of me responds to this with a barely contained grin and a mental pat on the back  the rest of me reacts with a eh? wha' the ….. when did that happen and how and how wrong must my scales be?  especially given that I've lost an inch in hieght and therefore have to all intents and purposes been underestimating the numbers.

I go back next week for the 2nd part of my assesment and at some point will be sent for a bone scan (ooh sounds like fun-not) and then well my mind wandered at that point but there was mention of waiting lists and talk of pople leaving and spaces coming up (any Uk folk who've been through the system-does this sound like I may be looking at a spell as IP?) I have a sneaking feeling that my upcoming birthday (no dont ask!!) is going to be involving some aspect of "thou shalt not purge (or starve) (or binge)". still I s'pose its one way ofmarking the occassion!

anyway folks my little bones are aching so I've off to take some (distressingly legal!) drugs and see if I can really push the boat out tonight and actually sleep! (woohoo get me-if I carry on like this; one day I'll be a real girl!)

so every one keep safe stay strong and…….. breathe!