So, my 29 year old cousin (10 years older than me) recently commented on my apparent "language" on facebook. She informed me that my grandma was "sickened" by it. I don't cuss as much as many teenagers I know, but I would agree with her that I have been cussing a lot more than usual. If she would have went about it maturely, I would have agreed with her and went on with my life. Unfortunately, she went about it the wrong way. She told me that I sound ridiculous, people always talk about how intelligent I sound and that the only time I don't sound like an idiot is when I'm at family functions because I don't talk at all. I told her she was being a bitch about it, because clearly she was. She could have just told me nicely that I had been cussing a lot lately. I also asked her if she bitched at other people for using bad language, or if it was just me, and told her that I don't even cuss that much, so I wasn't going to change to please her or anyone else. I told her that a lot of our family didn't even go to family events, so at least I was there. Then I asked her if she would be happy if I didn't come at all. Then, she started being completely ridiculous. She told me that calling her a bitch was the wrong move and that yes, it would be a great idea to stop coming to family events altogether, and that no one wants to listen to my bratty ass talk about "anxiety attacks" (yes she included the quotation marks, like my anxiety is just a show I put on for attention-this REALLY irritated me). She also told me to take my shit talking and excuses elsewhere. Which, I had no idea what she was talking about because like she said, I didn't talk much during family functions, so I'm not sure where the "bratty ass," "shit talking," and "excuses" came from. Then, because she acted like my anxiety was a big lie, I freaked out on her a little. I told her that it is a constant struggle for me every day and I can't live a normal life because of it. I told her that obviously if she's talking to my grandma about my language behind my back, it would make HER the shit talker. And I told her that SHE was the one being immature bitching out a 19 year old, when she is 29. That would be like me bitching out a 9 year old! I told her that yes, she WAS being a bitch. Then, she went TOO far. She told me that I wanted to "play" an adult by having a boyfriend with a kid and "playing mommy" or moving in with my "squirrely" boyfriend of two months but I don't want to own up to my behavior. First of all, I dated a guy with a kid, yes. But we were together for almost two years, and I would not say that I "played" mommy. I was in the child's life from the time she was 7 months until she was over 2. So yes, I was a little bit of a mother figure to her. And the guy I'm dating now is short and skinny, but no, "squirrely" doesn't come to my mind when I think of him (his sister was beyond pissed when she read that!). Then she said that my grandma is sickened by my language and I don't care, yet I tend to care when I want something from her. I never ask her for anything. The last time she did something for me was a year ago when she altered a dress of mine. So again, I don't know what she was talking about. She told me that I'd been babied and gotten away with treating my parents and brother like crap all my life, which I will admit I haven't been a perfect angel my whole life, but a lot of it WAS due to my anxiety and depression, and my brother didn't treat me or my parents the best either. Then, my personal favorite part, was that she "suggested" that I avoid her because I WOULD own up to my behavior, and that I needed knocked down a level and she would gladly be the one to do it. She kept mentioning that she was NOT threatening me. In my opinion, just because you say it isn't a threat, doesn't mean it's not a threat. Because again, she's 10 years older than me, and she pretty much just told me she would kick my ass if she seen me. And obviously she kept telling me that it wasn't a threat, because she KNEW damn well that it was. She told me that it is impossible to get through my ignorance, that I haven't even began to live life or have a reason to have anxiety. Um, HELLO, it's a disorder, it doesn't need a reason. Finally, she told me not to write back because it would be much worse for me in the end, and that I would find out. Another threat. Now please…explain to me how I'm the mature one in this situation…..

  1. sarah30uk 10 years ago

    You can choose your friends but you can\'t choose your family! I have to say that from what you\'ve written it seems like you were being more mature and maybe your cousin was having a bad day and just decided to take it out on you. I get on with most of my family but there\'s always one that likes to give their opinion every now and again. I have to say I swear constantly but I do try to keep it off of places like Facebook because you are never quite sure who is looking at it but if someone had a go at me about it then I\'d probably tell them where to go because if I want to swear then that\'s my choice.
    Anyway it sounds like your cousin really doesn\'t understand anxiety or mental illness in general, there\'s a hell of a lot of people who don\'t and they just think its an excuse to not work/do nothing or whatever and I have to say that I know a person who uses his depression as an excuse to do literally nothing all day everyday and his wife does EVERYTHING for him I mean I\'m surprised he even wipes his own arse….. welll I think he does :/ I wish that people could understand what a struggle it is everyday for people like us but I guess that most people won\'t understand because they have not experienced it.

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  2. TaylorKay 10 years ago

    Actually, felicity69, if she would have went about it maturely, I would have agreed with her. But how she started bringing my anxiety and my personal life into it, and started bashing my boyfriend, pissed me off. And it pissed me off when she threatened me. So maybe you should \”hush it.\”

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  3. TaylorKay 10 years ago

    And thanks, sarah30uk!

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