ugh…….heres a bit on whats been going on for the past few years. I got real sick the year my daughter graduated high school…like suppose to had died sick. ( obviously I did not 🙂 ) anyway my 2 older sisters came to my house 4xs a week all day to help with geting me to take meds and eat. It took about 2mos but finally got better. I was sick for about 4-5mos total but they were there the last 2. ok in that process the economy went down , my job was gone business closed and I lost my house. My sister swore to be there for me. She had volunteered to cosign on my daughters college but when the time came she could not and then told us how we were trying to trick her (lot more to that but it was a mess) after that she stopped talking to us and then my older sister said she didnt want to be in the middle and had nothing to say. but it was like slap in the face to her that she took care of me and now Im not in their life???wtf So I tryed still talkin to my oldest sister but she never answered calls or texts so I just stopped and said fuck it. (oops sry but ) anyway my 2 older sis havent spoke to me for going on 3 years. The sister whom volunteered the loan has always invited me to her daughters bday parties regardless that we were not talking and Ive always went as uncomfortable as it was. This past spring she has emailed me and has apologized for the whole thing and Ive accepted but still we choose to be cordial but not friends as before. My oldest sister , to which I have no clue as to why she doesnt speak to me never invited me to any more bdays for her 2 sons. one of which is my godson and graduating hi school now. I got an invite from her to go to his graduation party but for 2yrs Im not invited or spoke to not even a reply in a text from her or him. As Ive texted my nephew several times when i knew prom and other things were going on. The party is Saturday 18th and Im still unsure about going. I want to go for my nephew and be there for him at this time but I feel he doesnt even respond to my texts and then what I have to go face the entire family and all their friends (her neighbors are like Desperate Hswives…gossipy) that I havent seen in 2 years to go to the party for my sake???It is causing my brain to go on overdrive. I feel if I go so I feel better I will walk away feeling ten times worse as the neighbors will plug away the ?s while the family has there gossip circles. Im so over it. Im all about the kids but my nephew doesnt seem to care either, like his mother which again have NO CLUE as to what the hell her problem is. and to tell ya the truth , ive been more at peace and doing better for myself without them in my life but still wanted to be included with the kids. very disappoining and hurt do I go or not?????had to get off my mind beside just letting it keep circling in my own head…..shew! thanks for reading know its long and confusing but I know what I mean 🙂