This couldn't be further from the truth.

I have always felt emotions very intensely. I loved my family, friends and the entire spectrum of humanity as a martyr ready to carry the burden of the world on his lonely shoulders, but I hated them all as well for the sick disease that they are and continue to proliferate. I have often described my outlook as being torn between wanting to save the world or watch it burn down in flames.

To survive I forced myself to bury these emotions away so they became a lowly blur of pain inside me as they tried to claw their way back out. Sometimes they do, the little devils, but they always go back soon after. I can handle pain, and even hate. They drive me and without them the world would seem almost too quiet. Sometimes I believe I consume myself with these things so that someone else doesn't have to feel them, as if it's my duty to endure.

This brokenness is my strength and this pain is the nobility in my blood. I carry it as my personal testament to what I believe in, whether others understand it or not. In fact, I hope they don't. I hope they hate me for it.

But I also hope that no one takes for granted the emotion that comes with humanity. Some may argue that human emotion is a monster, but this is not true. Emotion is beautiful and a force that can not be stopped by bullets or knives. It is what we as human beings do with it that defines it. Don't take it for granted, even the little feelings. Do not fear. No matter how dark and deep that chasm you stare into every night in your mind when you close your eyes to sleep is, do not fear. Fear is for the enemy who does not understand. 

"He screams and screams and pounds his head against the wall until phantom fire trucks race across his vision. All he wants is pain. Pain and hate. Yes, hate. But never fear. Fear is for the enemy." – James O'Barr