As you probably know i work in a very busy cafe in the centre of Edinburgh .We are under staffed because of the downturn in the economey,and 2 people have already been made redundant2 months ago.I usualy work very well under pressure and have had good appraisals at work.
On monday night I dont know what happened to my brain,I just lost it big time ,I could not sleep ,I was worried that Iwould not be able to cope with work the next day,I felt tense ,my chest was so tight,I felt a lot of panic,and fear,I got up and down smoked a few cigarettes my heart was pounding,and I couldnt focus my mind on anything. I took an extra amatriptoline which i was given for a trapped nerve in my shoulder and i managed to get to sleep at 3 am.Went to work the next day feeling terrible as the extra meds made me feel drugged up ,and i hate that feeling.
The girl that i was working with had been put on a later shift ,so i went and saw my boss and told her that i could not do the shift on my own and that i needed help .Igot help and the day went well apart from the drugged feeling ,i am not superman and am learning to ask for help instead of doing the job on my own and paying the price by being so stressed out .I still dont know where that panicky feeling came from ,but i made it and am much happier for asking for help .
Sometimes i think God gives us these little reminders about how bad it used to be ,and i am greatfull that i am recovering slowly and sometimes very painfully