So my boyfriend and I have been together for two years, been living together for one.  He completes me in a way that I could never have imagined… When I am with him I am practically OCD free, he calms my anxieties so much.

He is ten years older than me, and had a much busier past than I did.  It was something I learned to live with, but I have always had that fear that settling down with me wasn’t really enough for him.  He says that he had realized a year or so before meeting me that he was tired of the wild life and wanted to settle with one girl (has anyone ever felt like "settling down" is meant to mean like settling for something less?). 

Well now I am out of town for two weeks taking care of my mom’s house for her while she is on vacation.  He started talking to this woman, who I think he met through one of his customer’s and he says is a customer.  Only, he calls and texts her every single day.  Obsessive little me gives into the urge to check his phone records online much more often than I should, and there have been a couple of times it’s felt like he’s been lieing to me since I left. Though last night was the most obvious, when he said he was going to his cousin Ben’s house for dinner and to hang out.  Only, he didn’t call or text Ben all day!  He did, however, call and text Kelly…  He doesn’t usually talk to his customer’s that often (though it is sporadically and completely random times of day or night).  But even regular customers, he doesn’t talk to this much.

Now tonight, he told me that he was thinking about going to his friend Milo’s house, only the only person he has talked to is Kelly…  I’m trying to avoid jumping to conclusions (because I have been wrong before when I found tons of evidence to point to something), but it feels so much like the conclusions are jumping to me.  Every time I actually talk to him, the fear just completely goes away, and I would trust anything he said to me… and I think it is dangerous… But isn’t that how it would feel if somebody who really loved you and has never cheated on you was talking?

Trouble is he doesn’t call me all that often… He says that he is busy finding things to do, and gets at me for not finding things to do.  But I don’t know what to do!!!  About him or with my days.  I don’t even know if he is sleeping with someone else while I’m out of town, if it would be enough for me to leave him.  But it would just crush me so completely!

Has anybody ever been cheated on?  Or has anybody ever been in some sort of similar situation?  I am really worried about what will happen to me, mentally and anxiety wise, if it turns out that he is cheating on me…

1 Comment
  1. RedRiddles 13 years ago

    I have never been cheated on, but I have had people close to me go through that experience.  To me, hearing only your side and the evidence you presented, he’s cheating.  The cheaters I have had experience with are so skilled at rhetoric that they could convince you the sky was purple when you are standing outside looking up.  I don’t know what advice to try to impart because if he isn’t cheating you might break something wonderful.  OCD makes finding a relationship so difficult.  He said he was going out with his cousin Ben, well next time you are talking to ben, ask him what the evening was like.  Fish around a little with Milo too.  I hope this all works out well for you.  Good luck and God bless!

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