So, after reading about the drug I was prescribed, and having a close friend do some checking, I think the best course is not to take this stuff unti I get the 2nd opinion on Tuesday.  Hopefully this doctor won’t be an asshole like the last one.  And, Charlie will not be present, this time around.

Maria is here, nodding in and out (xanax, I think).  I really don’t like it when she’s like this around me.  I’ve mentioned it, but whatever.  I am not anyone’s mother or keeper, nor anyone’s boss or instructor, so, I just rock with it, for now.

I need to go get some food.  Just wanted to drop a word or two, and let everyone know I am still hanging in.  

My sick friend is on the mend, by the way.  Still weak, but recovering.  I am so glad.

(Interruption, hours pass)

So, now, Maria is gone, and I have eaten dinner (pizza – my diet is better than it was, in general, but it’s still not as it should be, and TODAY, it sucked).  I just saw Phil Spector’s mug shot – I didn’t think that guy could be any more creepy.  I’m like, give that crazed murderer his wacky wig!  He needs it, and we need him to have it.  I always thought he looked scary, but he looked even more nuts in this pic.  I know no one looks good in a mug shot – they aren’t glamour shots (everyone has that, "motherf@ck… " expression on their face,haha), but this guy…  dude, he was so freaky looking.  

Watching Conan O’Brien.  I have spoken before about my fondness for this cat, before.  He’s so funny.  He just kills me.  I actually laugh out loud watching him.  I used to watch Jay Leno do his monologue every night, then skip the guests, and tune in for Conana at 11:30pm.  Now that weird, red-headed dude has The Tonight Show to himself.

I just saw a commercial for liquor that’s angle has something to do with chivalry.  Because drinking booze makes men more chivilrous, in general, haha.

Need to get more on top of things.  The mania makes it so hard to focus.  It makes me hate myself, much of the time.  Such ugliness…

I am trying.  I really am.

I am holding on.


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