Today I got the idea to write some children’s books that give children "a realistic view of the world around them" — i.e. make five year olds so depressed they commit suicide.  Here is my first book.  Imagine each line being it’s own seperate page or two pages with a "cute" illistration to go with it.

 

Everybody Hates You
A Children’s Book
by Joel Scheuer

Everybody hates.
The world is full of hate.
Everybody hates somebody.
Some people hate everybody.
Some children hate their parents.
Some parents hate their children.
Some children hate their teachers.
Some teachers hate their children.
Girls will hate you because you are a boy…
..or boys will hate you because you are a girl.
Boys will hate you because you like girls…
…girls will hate you because you like boys.
Boys will hate you if you like other boys…
…girls will hate you if you like other girls.
Whites will hate you if you are a differnet skin color than them.
People of different skin colors hate those that are white.
Some poeople hate people of their color if they are not "enough" like their color.
You’ll be hated if you are a Christian
You’ll be hated if you are a Jew.
You’ll be hated if you are a Muslim.
People hate Hindus, Budhadists, and Athiests too.
If you chose one side in politics, you’ll be hated by the other.
If you care too much for the Earth you’ll be hated.
If you care too little about the Earth you’ll be hated too.
You’ll be hated if you are rich and drive an expensive car.
You’ll be hated if you are poor and begging for change.
You will be hated if you love animals.
And you will be hated if you don’t.
If you eat meat, people will hate you.
If you eat only vegetables, people will hate you too.
People will hate you if you come from a different country than them.
People will hate you if you speak a different language.
People will hate you just for being you.
No matter who you are.
Or what you do.
Everybody will hate you.

Joel

 

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