Things were going great … until I decided they were going great enough that I was "back to normal" .

So I decided to go out partying with a few friends a week ago there was a big festival on the go here and I haddent been out partying with friends since my ocd decided to get unbearable two years ago. I went out had fun thought " wow I fell just like I did before all THAT happened with ocd and depression" and then since the festival was a week long I decided I was going to live it up .. I lost two years of my life why not take advantage of feeling like my old self.

Then the third night I went out with some people from work … Drank my Jack Daniels and sour puss way too fast ended up going home because I knew I was too drunk and the last thing I remember is trying to get my bearings to get the door open and go in my apartment. The next thing I remember is my friend kelly sitting on my couch because I had called her very upset that I had drank too much and was having an anxiety attack so she stopped by ( I have no memory of doing this ) she said she had been there with me for the past little while and I was asleep on the couch when she got home. EVER since that night I have been NOTHING but Pure OCD …. thinking that I have caused some kind of liver damage or heart damage from that one night. I keep trying to tell myself that I know better that one night of lack of judgement drinking probably just taught me a life lesson But I also hant been taking my meds because of this which is making things worse. 🙁 it's been 4 days since I've been out … I come home and I am fine until morning and my anxiety levels hit the roof. I dont have anyone to talk to about it … not just because no one is up but because no one understands, I know people on here understand and I would really appreciate some feedback on my situation. Clearly I am going to lay off the partying for a while and be more careful next time but I just need some reasurance that I'm alright . I know I'm going to get negative feedback as well … I just could use a friend that understands what I'm going through.