Nothing is perfect. And the things that are closest to it escape you. The warmth of yourself but right next to you in another. As if your hearts were separated in another life and you found each other again. Zeus was right to fuck it up but where is he now to keep our souls apart? Tears almost every night because you cant cope without them. But if we never found each other what would the problem be? You could be happy with someone else and it wouldn't hurt so bad if it didn't work out. With soul mates though.. they stay with you for your whole life. Eating away at you while you pretend to be happier than you actually are. Now we are never to meet again.. I cant cope.. I cant breathe.. I can barely see or live or be. Help. I need someone's help. More than ever. I need to stop this. There must be another part of me in someone else. I feel empty. Lost. Scared. My heart is gone. I need to replace it with a compatible others. Part of my heart and soul. Fill me up and bring colour to my face and strength into my bones again like he did. It isn't healthy how much I love him. I want to be alone but I need someone to hold me. I need to cry again. I wish I didn't feel like this. It would have been better if he never met me. I dream of him near enough every night. And the other one.. he helps me.. kind of. I dreamt of him last night. He looks at me sometimes like you did.. a caring, loving gleam in his eyes. But why? What is so addictive and enchanting about this wreck of a person? I do not understand. So many have fallen in love and been ripped apart from the inside. How is that fair? If there is a god he would have made us so that we only fall in love once and so that we adore that person and they adore us back. Life is not fair. We all live, go through hell with the people we love, and then die. I'm not going to fool myself any more. All I need is someone to make the world seem beautiful to me again.
Feelings
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Boredom.Freak, , Anxiety, Depression, 0
I’m gonna keep this short but like, my mental space has become worse to the point where I can’t...
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Yesterday i had a fight with my partner. Recently i only see negative things, same yesterday. Everything he does...
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Bienvenidos a mi vida.
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I sometimes think that we as human beings are socialized to be subconsciously self-destructive. We are never allowed to...
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She went to the movies tonight. It was that movie she was too tired to go see with me...
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I hate how the only time I come on here is when I'm swimming so deep in negative thoughts...
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Had to call my eldest daughters school this morning, am so worried about her and I have no where...
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It’s been awhile
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It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything here. Mostly because I don’t know what to write about. Even now...

