Nothing is perfect. And the things that are closest to it escape you. The warmth of yourself but right next to you in another. As if your hearts were separated in another life and you found each other again. Zeus was right to fuck it up but where is he now to keep our souls apart? Tears almost every night because you cant cope without them. But if we never found each other what would the problem be? You could be happy with someone else and it wouldn't hurt so bad if it didn't work out. With soul mates though.. they stay with you for your whole life. Eating away at you while you pretend to be happier than you actually are. Now we are never to meet again.. I cant cope.. I cant breathe.. I can barely see or live or be. Help. I need someone's help. More than ever. I need to stop this. There must be another part of me in someone else. I feel empty. Lost. Scared. My heart is gone. I need to replace it with a compatible others. Part of my heart and soul. Fill me up and bring colour to my face and strength into my bones again like he did. It isn't healthy how much I love him. I want to be alone but I need someone to hold me. I need to cry again. I wish I didn't feel like this. It would have been better if he never met me. I dream of him near enough every night. And the other one.. he helps me.. kind of. I dreamt of him last night. He looks at me sometimes like you did.. a caring, loving gleam in his eyes. But why? What is so addictive and enchanting about this wreck of a person? I do not understand. So many have fallen in love and been ripped apart from the inside. How is that fair? If there is a god he would have made us so that we only fall in love once and so that we adore that person and they adore us back. Life is not fair. We all live, go through hell with the people we love, and then die. I'm not going to fool myself any more. All I need is someone to make the world seem beautiful to me again.
Feelings
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Self Harm and how I Miss it
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*POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING* – I will be talking about self-harm in this blog post, fairly graphically at one point....
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Spirals
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I fucking hate every fucking person on the face of the earth right now. I don't give a SHIT...
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HOME
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Man i CANNOT take much more. Home is getting to be a pain to go to. my grandma and...
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Monster-in-law
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Alex came back from America after 3months working in California on last Sunday , I didnt think i'd...
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Hold On
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I know this painWhy do lock yourself up in these chains?No one can change your life except for youDon't...
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The downhill spiral
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My depression has taken a turn for the worse these past few weeks. Its now affecting my sleeping...
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Got the find a job blues
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I''m frustrated. I have been trying to find a job for two months for a regular speck like me...
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2017
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So 2017 has already been a horrible year for me. My girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years broke up...
