needed to get things of my chest today, im having an anxious day woke up this morning feeling fine then all of a sudden started getting palpatations and feeling sick and dizzy not sure for what reason sometimes it just seems to happen and i find there harder to deal with then when theres a reason because at least then i can work through the issues and think of solutions but when theres no reason i cant seem to talk myself out of it, although im sure sometimes its just a culmination of all the stresses and strains of the last few months that hit you at once rather then one specific problem.

although i do alot more then i used to and it is easier somedays other days it seems to creep back on me and remind me that i am abit different even the simple things that most people take for granted like going to the shops,talking to friends ect i feel it takes more energy to keep the anxiety at bay and somedays i could just stay in the house and have a easier day but i force myself to keep going then at night when im in bed thats when i worry about things like did i do the right thing will tomorrow be as hard what does the furture hold for me and i focus what im not doing with my life instead of what ive done and how far i have come but i suppose thats what the condition does all we can do is keep pushing and hope one day it will get alittle easier to bear till eventually you forget you havent worried about things for awhile you may even catch yourself smiling i think the most damaging part of havnig an anxiety disorder is not necessarily the physical symptoms but that voice in your head always telling you how bad you are and how your not going to cope and how weak your are for not been able to deal with everyday life some days you can ignore it other days thats all you can hear screaming at you.

anyway sorry for the rammble im now going to ignore my voice and start the day and hope the list of things i have to do today will drown it out