My fucking guardians, man, I swear! I had a bit of a meltdown after an event they took us to, right? It was this event where we had a LOT of girly things happening (make-up, nails, etc.). I mean -don’t get me wrong- it was extremely nice of them to do, but I had a HUGE amount of anxiety in there! The full on girl thing…Even when I’m girly, I’m not that girly, you know? Again, super nice (and they didn’t have to do it), but I feel like, since I came out that I was considering my gender and all, they’ve been criticizing me. They don’t get it. I took out my frustration on one of the staff and, now, she says she doesn’t trust me anymore and that hurts. I didn’t mean to treat her like shit, you know? I’m irritated by all of life’s problems and…Yea. And then, yesterday, another staff made fun of the fact I struggle being away from home, mocking the fact I miss my mom and she’s basically telling me I have to grow up. I get I’m 18, but, like, I’m not mentally at that level yet. They’re always dogging me on my maturity and leaving the house and I absolutely despise it. I debated running away, but I have nowhere to go. And, I self-harmed again, so I’m disappointed in myself. And I’m worried if I keep hurting myself, it’ll ruin my relationship. And they wonder why I don’t want to grow up. They keep saying “other teens have done this successfully.” Okay, so?! I’m not like them! I have a disability for a reason, but I guess that doesn’t matter. Holding in for my baby, but struggling greatly…
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