So no one who hasn't beenthrough it understands it. I could try to explain how i feel mentally, emoitionally, and physically. Everyone seems to be frustrated with me. I am frustrated with me. But I see no hope, no way of digging out of this hole. Depression can't be fixed by yelling at me or telling me to just get over it or "stop being a baby". I've lost supposed friends. Although I am surrounded by people who love me, I feel alone. I have been dealing with this for over 20 years. How it feels is impossible to explain. I guess why I'm writing this is because I have no one to talk to right now, cause all I do is cry, and the response I get is you have a wonderful life, why are you so sad, you have nothing to cry about and I don't want to burden anyone else with my problems or sadness. I don't want anyone to feel bad for me.I do have a great career but there is a constant heavy feeling around me. I have tried almost everything, medications and therapy don't seem to help. I am tired of being constantly being tired. I am tired of being sad. I am tired of wanting be alone all the time. I can't remember the last time I was truely happy. And all these people who claim to be my friends and said they cared about me disappear when things get tough for me. So I sit alone in my apartment and cry. I know I should get out and do something but I just can't seem to take the first step. I tried to explain it to someone the other day theysaidthey understood and would be there for me and has been avoiding me ever since, when I need them the most. It's frustrating.I feel lied too. I hate that my life is basically crippled by my depression. I know there is no easy fix. But whenis something going to giveand at least letme feel some joy. I am not even asking for completehappiness, just some. Ilook atother people and can't even imagine beingas happyand as confident as them. Just so frustrated.
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Curse the Power of Invisibility
depressednstressed, , Depression, Anger, Depression, 0
I am Invisible. Completely invisible. I used to wish for the power of invisibility and now my wish has...
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Mental Health
vrbutler, , Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, Anxiety, Depression, Lesbian, Gay, LGBTQ, 0
Hi I am Victoria Butler and I am 18 years old and I struggle with my mental health… I...
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Rules for Being Human
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Rules For Being Human You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it,...
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Dodged a bullet
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So, I learned that I was supposed to see mypsychiatrist today. so I had a nervous breakdown crying, unable...
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xillah, , Depression, 2
So, X-mart gave me my walking papers yesterday. My last day will be the 27th. I knew it was...
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Sorry (again)
sadjac, , Depression, Anxiety, Medication, 0
To Everyone that wrote me yesterday: I feel obliged to write today, firstly, I want to say thank...
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Just today
kiki_annalee, , Depression, 0
today started with this foreboding feeling.. and for good reason, i love my weekends but this weekend i know...
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I don't know where to go, what to do next.
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Yeah, well, I jumped the gun or something. I was told she was in hospice care, on morphine, getting...