You know when theres something different about you that means you'll never be able to fulfill any of your dreams and abilities… lifes really rough and i have a lot of those preventions, and some of them i don't even know what they are. You feel like your daily emotions are grating through you. Grating through the narrow mindedness, because your not able to live and learn any other way and i really want to. I'm prepared to realise my mistakes and i wish people would tell me in the conversation, straight on,(but they neverdo)if i'm coming across in a certain way because i really don't know it, all i can put it down to is that they don't like me. After observing someone else, i'm realising i might be like them and not know it. It's frustrating that people think i'm things that i'm not and form all these opinions from the way i talk to them and they don't tell me and they just let it put them off speaking to me. i really dont know anything, i thought it would help trying to figure it out here but the point is i don't know anything and i havn't a clue what the reason is and i can't find it here and there probably isn't even a reason, i just need to express that thing's arn't right and i'm sad everyday and always have been because i can't make friends. All my life i've been trying to work out what blocks me being able to be normal. Most people are just not the same as me but i think there are the odd few that are but i can't seek them out. I feel like peoplefeel likei'm trying to steal something from them when really the only thing i want is a friendship. It's a cruel thing. Love is definately one of the most cruel things (and i'm talking about friends or any type of connection here). Love comes from hell.
Fulfillment blocks
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Kick them while they are down
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Well today has been the first time i have thought of hurting myself in a year. I feel so...
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Isolation and Asylum
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It is no accident that this time of year is a dark and sullen time for people around the...
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This time last year was so awful
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Frustrated and a little bit resentful
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i dont want to be a misery guts, and i do feel i am still on the right track,...
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I'm Scared
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I've just been doing some late night research in to my depression, and it seems that after a few...
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Good-Bye 2008, Hello 2009
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Well 2008 is done and gone and 2009 is here. New Years Eve was not brought in with champagne, countdowns...

