Sometimes you would hear an addict say “One good thing about getting clean is you get your feelings back. The bad thing is you get you feeling back.” I know what this means. Today I went to see my friend Eddy S. I spoke of him in the past. He is one of the best examples of a grateful recovering addict that will not pick-up no matter what. Eddy is a lot like my father in many ways. He’s addict, He is battling Cancer for the second time in his recovery and right now loosing. When my father died from Cancer he had over 12 years clean. Getting to know my dad at the age of 28 was one of many blessings I have received from getting clean and NA. Eddy has made many, many friends in his 23 years of recovery. Many of us would go to his house and hold a meeting when he got to sick to go out. House meetings are the best. At the last one he was beginning to realize that he was loosing the fight. He was angry, sad, scared, confused and grateful all at the same time. It was very hard to talk about anything any of us were struggling with but we did. I think he wanted to hear it too if even for a minute take his mind off his problems. He was very good at thinking of others before himself. He was hospitalized last Thursday and I was told today by his wife that he will not be going home. He’s in a lot of pain and pretty drugged up but he knows what is going on. I held his hand and he told me ”I’m not going anywhere” I replied “Neither am I”. On my way home from the hospital both Saturday and today I saw a “TentCity”. You know people who have lost there home and now live in tents placed under the highway. I have seen them on the news but never in person. It broke my heart. I wondered how can this be in this great country of our. Then I pulled into my driveway went into my house and laid eyes on my beautiful wife and daughter. I am blessed. In a short amount of time I felt sadness, anger, confusion, faith, hope, and gratitude. I would rather feel all these emotions then not feel and be numb today. It was a good day.