Getting the girl- style and charm 10 tips
Ok, so you’ve met the girl of your fantasies- she’s nice, cool, funny, intelligent, not to mention smoking hot. Luckily she thinks your cool enough to hang out with and you become friends. The more you’re around her, the more you find yourself thinking about her and wanting something more than just friendship. So one gut-wrenching day, you get up the nerve to admit your feelings for her and there it comes “I really like your personality…” “You’re cool, funny, smart, nice…” and then it hits you “but I see you as a friend” it’s the very definition of Bowling For Soup’s song “sucker punch” Basically tapping you off guard like a kick in the nuts with reality.
Has this happened to you? Chances are if you’re a guy worth your weight in at least scrap metal, it has. There have been numerous “good guys” , “best friends” , and “guy friends” of my own who have told me about this phenomenon and as heartbreaking as their tails are, the past may always be the past, but it didn’t stop me with coming up with these ways to save the future. That’s right nice guys- this is your time to shine! Hopefully after my 10 tips and insight from me, a woman on the other side, you’ll learn a little something on how to present yourself as a potential romantic interest, and stay out of the friends only zone when the next deity passes a smile at you at school, work, or just around the corner.
What’s the first thing you notice about someone walking down the street, at a restaurant, in school, or at your front door? Normally, the way they look. It’s been said that people can decide if they are physically attracted to someone in 3 seconds. Shit, I know that’s barely anytime at all, but if it’s your 3 seconds in her eyes, you better give it all you got. So before you do any talking, it’s time you get ready to make her want to talk to you.
Tip 1- Keep your shape healthy
While not everyone is the same in their opinions, generally we seek out other people who from a genetic standpoint, look healthy enough to pass on successful genes to the next generation, and part of you being a check yes in a lady’s book of possible mates is your physical health. Some men are tall and thin, some are short and thicker, some are big guys and others are really muscular. Keep in mind if you want a specific type of lady, there are often different body ideals that vary according to various cultures and social cliques (sorry muscleheads, not every girl is into your massive guns.) No matter what your shape, be healthy and don’t do any crazy crash diets, steroids, or whatever other crap advertisers today are trying to sell you- a good diet with some exercise is still always the best way to go.
Tip 2- Hygiene
Ok guys, I’m not saying you have to smell like you fell into a field of roses to impress a girl (though with all the bleeding that would be pretty metal) but let’s all remember a few important words- showering, brushing hair and teeth, deodorant and soap. Don’t be ashamed to pick up that special cream for your backacne or head and shoulders for the dandruff, the temporary shame you experience is virtually unnoticed by everyone else around you, including the cashier ringing you up, and even if they do it’ll still be a thousand times better then getting embarrassed from not using it.
Tip 3- SHAVE
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY SHAVE! While this is a controversial and more opinion based statement then fact, it has been since the dawn of existence, a simple fact that many women prefer a guy with a shaved face as opposed to a crazy beard and or mustache. (Maybe it’s got something to do with the stereotype of old grandfatherly figures having beards.) Given sometimes the fuzz can make you look like a boss, especially to other dudes, chicks don’t always dig the stash, so your best bet is to lose it. Once you kiss that facial hair goodbye, you might just be a step closer to kissing her hello.
Tip 4- Show her those Eyes
The more women I’ve spoken with, the more this has been confirmed over and over again- women love looking into and at men’s eyes. This is often a challenge if you’ve got long bangs, a hat, or often glasses that conceal your eyes from view. While they may all be part of your look, sometimes they can be done a different way or a change is in order. My own personal biggest issues is good looking guys who hide behind glasses- take them off! What the hell man?! You wouldn’t like it if chicks walked around in burlap sacks hiding their figures from view, so why do you hide those soul windows? It’s a fact that people can take on a completely different look and persona when there glasses are gone- just look at the old Clark Kent to superman bit! Stop being a cheap ass and spring for contacts- they work better then glasses, show off your eyes, and if you’re not a bitch don’t even hurt to put in or take out once you’ve got the process down.
Tip 5- Look SHAAAARP
If you’re after a girl with a particular style or vibe, try to dress in a way that will complement her taste. If she’s a label whore then whore yourself to the likes of American Eagle and Hollister, artsy chick- go with some cool dark wash jeans and chuck taylors, and sophisticated women like guys who can look good in a tie and not fear looking a little more formal then the average joe. My biggest warning is don’t overdo the accessories or put TO MUCH thought into it, it’ll drive you crazy or she might just think you’re a hot gay dude. Whatever style you’re going after, make sure that it’s who you are as well, because like I said earlier, women know fakers and fakers get no play.
You’re already a nice fun guy to be around- great! That’s more than half the battle there, a guy can be great eye candy, but if he’s an asshole nobody will stay with him (well, except maybe another asshole, they like to stick together). So now you need advice on the other side- how you present yourself. Keep in mind you gotta be true to who you are, as women can almost always spot a fake, and hopefully these tips will only enhance your awesomeness already present
Tip 6- Speak boy Speak!
Before one should even attempt dating, make sure you can induce conversations with regular, non-intimidating people. It’s good to practice by making new friends or just making small talk with coworkers or strangers. A good conversationalist is always an attractive quality in a man, so make her feel comfortable and enjoy her time with you by speaking with her intelligently and in a relaxed pleasant manner. Girls also very much like to talk and know you’re listening, so try to be an active listener and show her that you’re paying attention to what she has to say- ask her fallow up questions about what she tells you, nod your head every 6 words, maintain eye contact and don’t get caught staring at her breasts, stomach, back, or butt (then you just look like a pig)
Tip 7- Be realistic
Know where you stand as far as physical attractiveness goes. It seems so many guys are totally ignorant of their rating on a scale of 1 to 10, that by their nature, I often see so many 4 and 5s going after 9s and 10s, and as a result they often never succeed. It’s hard to be honest with yourself, but the best thing is to try and look for somebody who’s about equal to where you are, because often you make a good match in the end (neither of you is put up on a pedestal by the other, and this equal match pairing idea has been proven doable in research studies) So before you go out on the hunt for your perfect match, look for females who’re in the same league as you so you can avoid as much heartbreak as possible.
Tip 8-Have Confidence:
Boys, boys, boys, please- have a LITTLE faith that you’re worth being with. If you don’t think you’re good enough for her, then why should she? Be friendly, approachable and calm when you speak with her. I’m not saying be cocky, because that’s just awful to be around in general romance aside, but take pride in yourself. Find something you’re good at show or tell her about it, and if you’re smart, offer to teach her about it. This always gives you a good start.
Tip 9- Just be cool
No matter what happens when you’re with this girl, if there’s a hurricane heading towards you, a baby is screaming, a dog bites you in the ass or your brother’s getting arrested again on your front lawn, take it all in your stride and stay calm and down to earth in the situation. Your cool head will help her relax and see you as someone she can turn to when times get crazy, which is ultimately important for a successful long-term relationship.
Tip 10- Be ready to accept the outcome
Not everyone has the same taste in anything- be it music, cars, books, movies, or anything else, so why should it be any different in potential dates? You could be the greatest thing that ever walked the planet, but that doesn’t mean everyone else sees you that way. Before you put yourself out there, be fully prepared for whatever response you get (which will ideally be a positive one) whether it’s disappointing, frustrating, awesome, or hazy, you have to open your heart to the possibility of pain if you ever want to find happiness.
Now that you’ve got my 10 tips down, it’s time for you to be free! Go out there and kick some dating ass! Take no prisoners and the next time you meet one of those awesome girls, you’ll be flying with the knowledge and confidence to keep you from getting stuck in the friend zone and hopefully soar into a successful relationship.