So for the past 3 years ive been struggling with chronic pain and still no official diagnosis as to what is causing the issues however today i am flat out exhausted and tender. I knew before lockdown that my health hasnt been too great and had often put working 30+ hours a week down to being tired ect but today i am just flat out tired, i want to say that i am down but honestly i am just not interested in anything or anyone and keeping up the facade is hard work and since lockdown i just find i dont want nor feel i need to continue with it.  I go through days where i am tired ( fatigued is more the word i would use tbh) in pain, swollen and feeling what i would describe as being run down, yesterday i discovered i have what is looking like the start of an abcess in my mouth and hopefully ive caught it in time and the antiseptic mouth wash will help. veyr few people understand physical health issues until they have them themselves but honestly i am reaching the point now where after 3 years and a couple of small surgeries later its gotten worse rather than better. I had been referred to back to another specialist but sadly covid 19 happened and my appointment was cancelled.  When i am having days like today i am frustrated and angry with my situation mainly because i just dont know whats wrong why i feel like this, what is causing the pain/problems. I feel if i knew i would be able to move forwards and instead all ive been given is pain meds and more pain meds.

Like everything else i just need to take it one day at a time…30 and some days i feel 90.