I been battling depression since i was 6 years old I am now 35. It' shard to stay positive and focus on the good things when people around you make it so hard to fight the battle. Alot of times i just feel like i should give up and not bother anymore. I just have to keep reminding myself I am doing all this and staying alive for my two kids and the little one i have on the way. My mother is the whole big issue and problem. For years this woman has done nothing but mentally and phsyically abused me and others around her. No one wants her around and everywhere she goes she causes drama. I tried over the years to tell her but she ALWAYS thinks she is right and knows better all because she is older. This is coming from a woman who has no education, barely knows how to drive or cook. Honestly i have no idea how she has made it this far. No i take that back i do know how. She mooches from everyone she can and sucks the life out of them. Her own family doesn't even want her around. I now see she has not only destroyed her life but mine as well. I am sure she was the huge part of my two failed marriages. I know i take some blame but other half is hers. All she has done is nag, compalin everything is wrong and ONLY she does it right. It's either do it her way or get yelled at more. But the sad thing is even done her way it's still wrong the way anyone does it, therefore you getting nagged more then before. No pleasing people like that. I tried cleaning this run down house i moved back into, only to realize she wants to keep all stuff and hoard. With 6 people in the home there is no room.I never felt so crammed in my life. It's like living in a can. I am expected to deliver my little girl in July and i have no room at all. I was very happy the two years i lived away from her and never wanted to come here to this hell hole. But i figured i could save money and then get a better place. WRONG!!!! I spend more money on gas, eating out and bills then i did living on my own all due to her control issues. You can't put food in the fridge,you can't cook your food, you can't take a shower, you can't use the restroom. Do you know how bad it is when you have to stay in your own room all day long and use a bucket as a restroom. Do u know how embarrssing that is? I tired asking for help family, friends. and goverment no one helps me. I am crying so bad for the first time in years I never wanted this for me again. I don't know what to do anymore I just feel like giving up because enough is enough. But i know i can't. My health is getting worse and I feel like i falling deeper into a pit of darkness. I never wish this life on anyone. I am always helping others out when i can. I don't want others going through what i go through. There is alot more bad things happening. But in order to write it all down it would be a book by the time i am finished saying all i have to say. I just hope some day i can see the good that came from all this. There is always hope.


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