I just got home from church about an hour or so ago, with an awesome focus for a change because of a powerful word that came from God in the sermon.  Amazing thing is…I get home, and just as quick as I could feel that focus, I could feel it slip away….all thanks to one roommate.  Or I guess it's thanks to the power I allow one roommate to have over me.  My living situation would seem a bit odd to many.  I live with 2 other females and one male.  I have no problems dealing with the females, for the most part.  But, the male on the other hand, creates a lot of anxiety and defensiveness in me.  If I don't talk around him, I get accused of having an attitude and trying to cause a fight.  If I do talk, I have to defend myself and basically am told how wrong I am (usually no matter how right I am).  I guess this is a normal dynamic, but it just doesn't seem right at the same time.  I mean how can I ALWAYS be wrong where this person is concerned??  What's equally as frustrating is the fact that if I try to talk to either one of the females in the house, they will 99% of the time, either flat out defend him…or just basically cower down and let him have his way anyway.  I know, logic would say, if you're in a bad situation, you need to listen to God and His Word for you and LEAVE.  Problem is…I have no idea where I'm supposed to be.  I KNOW I am meant to be at my church right now because I have so much more to learn through them.  When it actually comes down to relocating out of my situation, I know it will be out of state, I just have no clue where.  So can you see why I'm still here????  I don't want to go for the sake of going, and then end up in a just as bad situation, if not worse.  I mean I know God has me here because of my church, and how much I am learning.   One thing we've been learning a lot about lately is how God won't give you more than you can handle.  I mean I know that's true…but then I look at my current situation and wonder….ok…then what do You have for me to do, when in this place, I'm being hurt, at least emotionally on a regular basis???  I know the confusion doesn't come from God, but at the same time….I'm very confused.  Maybe that's speaking too much negativity into my life, but that's where I'm at and I figure a blog on a Christian site is the best place to be honest.  I'm not even sure any of this rambling is making any sense, but I hope it does.  Thanks for taking the time to check it out if you make it all the way through.