I just got home from church about an hour or so ago, with an awesome focus for a change because of a powerful word that came from God in the sermon.  Amazing thing is…I get home, and just as quick as I could feel that focus, I could feel it slip away….all thanks to one roommate.  Or I guess it's thanks to the power I allow one roommate to have over me.  My living situation would seem a bit odd to many.  I live with 2 other females and one male.  I have no problems dealing with the females, for the most part.  But, the male on the other hand, creates a lot of anxiety and defensiveness in me.  If I don't talk around him, I get accused of having an attitude and trying to cause a fight.  If I do talk, I have to defend myself and basically am told how wrong I am (usually no matter how right I am).  I guess this is a normal dynamic, but it just doesn't seem right at the same time.  I mean how can I ALWAYS be wrong where this person is concerned??  What's equally as frustrating is the fact that if I try to talk to either one of the females in the house, they will 99% of the time, either flat out defend him…or just basically cower down and let him have his way anyway.  I know, logic would say, if you're in a bad situation, you need to listen to God and His Word for you and LEAVE.  Problem is…I have no idea where I'm supposed to be.  I KNOW I am meant to be at my church right now because I have so much more to learn through them.  When it actually comes down to relocating out of my situation, I know it will be out of state, I just have no clue where.  So can you see why I'm still here????  I don't want to go for the sake of going, and then end up in a just as bad situation, if not worse.  I mean I know God has me here because of my church, and how much I am learning.   One thing we've been learning a lot about lately is how God won't give you more than you can handle.  I mean I know that's true…but then I look at my current situation and wonder….ok…then what do You have for me to do, when in this place, I'm being hurt, at least emotionally on a regular basis???  I know the confusion doesn't come from God, but at the same time….I'm very confused.  Maybe that's speaking too much negativity into my life, but that's where I'm at and I figure a blog on a Christian site is the best place to be honest.  I'm not even sure any of this rambling is making any sense, but I hope it does.  Thanks for taking the time to check it out if you make it all the way through.

  1. bizzybe86 14 years ago

    hi,it sounds like he is the one that has the problem,he should mind his own business.Men though,u know I can relate to u.I would come home frm church feeling good and all postive and it seem like my husband would bring me down quick,and it would be so upsetting.Its like why would they do that 2 you.What state would u move to if u moved?


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  2. wantingtorunaway 14 years ago

    In response to Fairygal….yes…that would seem like the easy thing to do….but it's not always as easy as just moving.  I don't do well by myself…but I"m not doing well with other people either.  

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