I passed out when i got home from work. But by some mirical, my mother managed to wake me up in time for the meeting. The drive to the meeting and the walk seemed like forever. I didn't even remember how to get there, I just walked untill I saw the entrance.
After 7 years in the program i finally learned how lucky I am that I know about NA and that I have a meeting in the city next to my small hometown. My ex said " what is this bullshit?! where did you bring me?! what is all this we love you, and all these weak people saying they are powerless over drugs and putting all their faith in god?! I don't get it, I don't need a group or got, i got clean on my own. I have will power".
I wonderd what the others would say to that. "What ever works for you. But just know that you are not alone, and you are always welcome" someone said.
And that's when it hit me.
My friends let me down. When I tried to reach out for help, they laughed at me. My family doesnt want to hear about my addiction…and my shirnk thinks everything can be fixed with medication.
But there is a group of people, of different ages, different places in life, from all kinds of cultures who come together every evening, no questions asked, no judgments, no motives…all they want is for an hour and a half to fill that room with unconditional love, help eachother, support eachother, and together find a way out of this mess. because at the end of the day, were all the same. and as long as i remember that, ill never be alone.
addicts can be selfish, nasty, evil…but we are also angels, brothers, friends…Its rare to see people reach out to eachother and help one another round the clock while batteling themselfs without wanting anything in return. Thank you god, and thank all of you for helping me end this day clean.