By Charlie G 

Stopped by a cop, my speed 97;

He said, “Boy, you in a hurry to get into Heaven?” 

I replied, “Actually I am in a bit of a rush;

But I doubt that I'll ever see God's burning brush.” 

Look, I know there's a God, why else do I fear?

And wipe away tears, as I drink from my beer? 

But, I've been locked in a room called addiction; in the hotel of life’

After evicting God & my family; now I’m rooming with strife. 

Always crying and shouting, with chaos and self-pity;

Coming from inside of my head; my own little city. 

I've peered out the window, seen people passing below;

Striding with a purpose; and having somewhere to go.  

People who've been knocked down, then get up and begin a new day,

After pausing, then kneeling, then beginning to pray. 

I want what they have! I need what they've got!

I'm not asking for a kingdom in Heaven, I'll settle for a cot! 

God, I want some peace and some purpose! I silently cried;

When suddenly, inside of me, a door opened wide. 

My head bowed as I stood, waiting to be chastened;

But to my surprise, what I received, was a realization. 

I needed to ask for help, if I was to ever be free;

I couldn't do it alone; just depending on me. 

Still I tried many times; I was Igor in his lab;

And the conclusions to my tests, always came up – ‘rehab.’ 

I finally gave up and surrendered, checked myself into detox;

Kicking the wall for three days, trying to get out of this box. 

I finally finished with detox, weak now as a kitten;

I thought, 'I'd once been a Lion, before being bitten by addiction. 

Now meeting counselors and clients, all the faces are new;

Then turning around & meeting myself, It's funny, but it’s true. 

And though I didn't like who I was, I offered to forgive;I

t was necessary – what I needed – if I wanted to live. 

Because I didn’t use to feel good; but to try not to feel;

Now it was time to peel the layers, if I wanted to heal. 

And those voices in my head? My own little city?

They had a name in rehab – they were called 'the committee!' 

Everybody had them! They thrived on our pity;

Now I’m learning it was time – to evacuate that city! 

In group I heard a guy share, and I heard him tell of my life;

Down to losing the job, losing the house, even the car & wife. 

I’m learning to relax. To come to a consensus;

By finding God, cleaning house, & mending my own fences. 

"A hopeless dope addict," That had been my name;

And I used to wear it proudly; carried by my shame. 

But now like a horse running free, let out of its paddock;

I'm laughing and smiling – a dopeless hope addict! 


Charlie G


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