It's been a year now since I've had my "A-ha" moment of feeling lost and wanting to change. It first began with watching "The Secret" on DVD. Now, there are some things on there I didn't agree with but the majority of the DVD, I hopelessly related to and I felt…unusually, different after watching that. I felt, touched. I felt a burden lifted.
Then, not long afterwards, I kept hearing about how wonderful the book 'Eat, Pray, Love' was so I broke down and read it before the movie was released….and that made me feel even better! What a great book!I was even more undeniably inspired to change….I had such a strong feeling of needing to change. I had been unhappy for so long, I became accustomed to it. I couldn't bear it any longer. I just didn't want to admit it to myself but after the experiences of the DVD and the book, there was a certain calmness to me. A simplicity I began to see.
I began to let go of all the negativity in my life which included so called "friends". Recently, I began to feel a little lost again. Wondering if I had made the right decision of letting go of my friends. Then one day, a coworker and I were talking about books and she mentioned author Paulo Coelho whom she loved. I had never heard of him so wrote down his name and one Saturday morning I went to Barnes & Noble and found several of his books, read the back covers and bought two of them, 'Veronika Decides to Die' and 'Eleven Minutes'….I was guided again!Those books, to me, are amazing! They're both about finding one's true self again…living life.Giving up fighting ones' self, finally finding everything one has always wanted and all because one, exhaustingly, let go and allowed the happiness from within to shine through.I found it unbelievable my co worker recommended this author to me at a time (which I did not mention a word to her) I was losing my path again.'Eleven Minutes' is more of a sexual awaking but still about a journey to finding and believing in love.
I no longer doubt my decision about my "friends". My life isn't about them, it's about me. I need to make me happy. I come first. I admit, it's taking me a while but that's only because I've built up such a thick wall around me. I'm slowly chipping away at it and I'm beginning to find myself.
These signs, in my eyes, were thrown to me by my guardian angel to help me find my way. Even here! I found this place when I felt desperate to type out my feelings and I didn't know how or where. I was guided to find Tribe and this place has been yet another inspiration to me.
I now believe, there are no coincidences in life. It's all meant to be.