So today my daughter had another episode in a store.  This time all 3 kids were with me.  This is the 3rd time it has happened.  My poor son had to witness it this time.  She had decided she wanted a pair of glasses, reading glasses, she doesn\'t need reading glasses.  She was not taking NO for an answer.  We were in the dressing room when she started very loudly telling all of us to shut up if we tried to talk to her, kicking the cart, throwing clothes on the floor.  It was very humiliating.  I didn\'t know how I was going to get out of there.  My son had to go to the car.  He couldn\'t handle it.    He has reached the point now, after over 3 months, that he can\'t take it anymore.  He is breaking out in tears a lot lately and it is so not like him.  He is a strong boy and things usually don\'t get to him but he is a mess now.

Is it ok for me to feel that way from time to time as the mom?  There are times when running away seems like a dream but I never would, never could do that to my kids or family.  It is the damage that these disorders can do to those that suffer from them and those that love those who suffer

 My daugher is only 8 and a very simple incident at school sent her over the edge.  We didn\'t have any warning signs.  All of the sudden she came home one day and was broken.  She didn\'t want to return to school and in less than 2 weeks the situation had become so bad that we had to put her into an outpatient program.  What made it even worse was it was the holidays.  She was supposed to be off from school having a break but instead she was beginning to have panic attacks, and starting medication for severe anxiety, seperation anxiety and depression.  My husband and I were wrecks.  We couldn\'t function while she was there.  We left crying each day and sat at home waiting to pick her up.  I hate that she went there.  I can\'t ever get those 9 days back.  I feel as if she lost her innocence there.  She saw things 8 year olds shouldn\'t have to see.  They put her on Lexapro and Klonopin.  We quickly learned that the Klonopin was pretty strong and it made her act like she was drunk.  We couldn\'t keep giving it to her.  Who wants to see there 8 year old daughter like that.  You know as a parent you can conceive the idea of having to seek help for your TEENAGER one day for something horrible like, drugs, or alcohol abuse.  You don\'t ever want to have to though.  I never even imagined in my worst nightmares that I would be taking my young child to a place like this. 

Since then I have had to start homeschooling my daughter because she isn\'t able to make it to school.  We are hoping we can get her back there soon.  We have been seeing 2 therapist a week and the Dr. about twice a month.  He switched her to Paxil and Seroquel.  Paxil was helping but not enough.  The seroquel made her moods like a roller coaster and she started dangerous behavior.  He quickly changed her to Risperdal but that one was very short lived.  It was like we went backwards 2 months with the anxiety.  It was so bad again.  Now we are on day 5 of Prozac and he is adding Zyprexa tomorrow for the mood issue.  I hope that one works fast.  She has had 1 or 2 rages a day.  She treats her siblings very badly and will destroy property.   She likes to start throwing things on the floor off counter tops and tables.  She talks very disrespectfully and gets violent.  These episodes can last almost an hour sometimes.  I had to physically hold her down yesterday to keep everyone safe in the home.  The other 2 kids were a wreck along with myself.  I don\'t know how much more my family can take.  We are all starting to fall apart.  I just want my old daughter back.