The former situation ship person proposed and wanted to start a family right away.   (Yes, before marriage!) I didn’t like how he treated me and didn’t trust him.  He never even said or showed that he loved or cared about me.   I thought I loved him enough to fix everything but knew on some level that without trust and caring that there was no future.  I knew that having a baby with him wouldn’t fix the emotional abuse as well.  He told me how wealthy and successful that he was and that he was above other men who I may consider marrying!   I found this to be offensive.  No one is better than anyone else.   Money is good for paying bills but it doesn’t make anyone better than anyone else!

I moved on and married someone else and had children

If I would of married situation ship person, it would of been a boy (heard that he fathered boys only) and he would be – – years old now.

Or the emotional abuse would of turned physical and he could of beat me up and ended the “could of happened” pregnancy that he offered me that I refused.

I didn’t believe that he was willing to follow through on marrying me if he couldn’t even say he loved me or show he cared about me.   He said he was buying plane tickets to take me away and for me to go buy a dress.   He didn’t say wedding dress though.  He proposed job interview offer style telling me his high income.   As if some amount of money could fix my mental trauma from his emotional abuse and his cruelty.

Or some horrible health situation could of happened ending my life and the “what if son”……

I think of that what if child that was never attempted to be conceived.   He would of had brown hair or black and green or dark brown eyes.   He would of had a medium skin tone like myself and situation ship person.

He could of used a child to control me / emotional abuse me and not ever marry me.

I leaned on my research that if you commit to a abusive person “that” is how it is going to be or even it gets worse.

Thanks for listening!