I am so tired of these darn panic attacks!!!! I can go for 1 week with being o.k. then all of a sudden boom! Full blown panic attack. It helps a little knowing what I have but when I'm stuck in traffic or at least 10 minutes from home forget it. The feeling of choking, not being able to breathe, chest pain, the feeling of just wanting to crawl out of my skin, I can't stand it. I will sit there and contemplate on calling 911 but I work in a hospital and I don't want anyone to see me. I feel the only place I am safe at is in my home. I'm tired of going to the grocery store and leaving my whole cart behind because I have to rush home. I won't go to movies, out to dinner, to the mall, I hate this. I use to be so outgoing. I was always doing something. Anywhere I go I'm looking for the quickest possible escape route. Work is a whole story in itself. I work 3 12hr shifts a week and I am in a locked down unit. I can get out with my badge but the whole point of being stuck there for 12hrs kills me. I get panic attacks just thinking about going to work on my days off. I love my job but I don't know how long I can do this. People are starting to see me as unreliable because I call in or leave work all the time. I've tried many meds like atenolol, lexapro and the last one he gave me celexa forget it. Celexa made me have 6 panic attacks a day and the anxious feeling never went away. I carry in my car Xanax but I don't like the way it makes me feel. I haven't taken it since march but it comforts me knowing I have it with me. Well 2 days ago I had to take one. Never again. I was so groggy and out of it. I only took half of a half. I now remember why I don't like it. I can't take it at work at all. I have also went to an anxiety disorders clinic. The Linden method. It helped for about 2weeks but that's all. I just want to be normal again. I want this to go away forever and never come back.
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