Im not sure theres a real good way to find friends after you hit 30. But especially after you hit 30 with all the messed up stuff in my head i deal with constantly. I made a really lengthy post/rant thing on reddit the other night that describes kind of how frustrated and hopeless i feel about thewhole thing. Here it is if you are really bored and feel like reading it. Just add www to it apparently the site doesnt allow links….
reddit.com/r/MakeNewFriendsHere/comments/8xul8l/43mest_feeling_sort_of_frustrated_with_how_hard/
I also joined this app patook yesterday and ive messaged about five people on there so far no response. I know my age has a lot to do with it and preconcieved notions that i think once u hit 35 or so i guess youre supposed to sit around and wait to die. I dont know about you but that sure as hell dont sound fun to me….But how do you make friends when youre stuck at home with bad anxiety and people make it so hard to connect?
Its like for example my son when he met our roommate that stays with us. We have a kid staying with us that my son met at first at a food bank, and then later on in one of his art classes. My son used to wear all these outlandish clothes and things like these bright pink pants that were nut huggers lol. Sorry for the terminology but wanted you to get a good picture of the sittuation. So anyway he just waltzes up to our roomate and is like hey! Wanna be friends? Can i get your number. Joey the roommate said i didnt know if he was trying to pick me up or what lol. My sons straight but still funny. I just use that funny example of its really awkward as adults to approach people and try to make a connection. You know when you were kids around preschool age or kindergarten first grade etc. You could do that. Just walk up to somebody and be like hey wanna be friends? And they’re like yeah! kewl so then youre friends from then on. Simple right? As adults if you ask somebody that they would look at you like you were a serial killer or had a screw lose. We go around our armpit to reach our asshole. Its really not that complicated now but we make it that way.
For me mostly its just annoying and i am tired of the way this world is. Im tired of how complicated people are how hard it is to make friends and how many roadblocks, dead ends and just crazy random stuff that prevents me from making friends keeps happening. Im sick to death of being alone and feeling lonely and cut off from the world. Im not a bad guy, im not a boring person. Im fun to hangout with when given half a chance. It just sucks knowing im probably going to spend the rest of my life in limbo like this. Ive spent the past 15 years stuck in my house afraid to do anything. Somethings got to give.Either im going to have to develop some sort of friend making super powers or people gotta stop being so damn complicated. Just frustrating.
Also we had to shave our cat and now she looks like this alien rat creature triceratops. She walked into a flytrap and there was no other choice. Shes sitting in my lap as i write this. Ok well i guess thats about it. This kind of went all over the place but oh well. I also have no idea what that image has to do with anything. My cat sent it…
The tone of your post sounds like how I used to feel, which was: “Why me? why do I have to struggle while other people live normal lives?”
I asked that often and finally realized that it was unproductive and even harmful. Really, everyone has crap they have to deal with.
When I forced myself to go out and do things, despite my anxiety, and because it was either change something in my life or kill myself, that’s when life became better.
Then, I started asking myself, “What do I want” instead of “Why me?” and I went for it.
I realized that you don’t have to feel good to function. You can still get what you want even if you are anxious or depressed.
Overall, I am happy with my life now. I am 46 and do have many friends even though I am an introvert.
Only you can figure out what you really need to get what you want. It may take the help of a counselor along the way, but if you really want something and are willing to pay any price to get it you will get it.
Message me if you have any questions.
Good luck to getting better!