i know there's no such thing as a geographical cure.  i know that i should just make do with my circumstances, but I HATE THIS COUNTY SO MUCH I FEEL LIKE KILLING SOMETHING!!!  

i didn't move here because i wanted to.  i moved here because i was facing being homeless in the near future, because i was sick, distraught, and desperate for treatment.  i moved here because my parents were offering me a place to stay.  

i don't live with them anymore, but i still haven't escaped this awful place, where crack, corn mazes, and crab shacks count as weekend entertainment.  there are nothing but a bunch of drunk rednecks here, no museums that don't have something to do with fishing or naval warfare, no concerts to go to, no movie theaters, nothing to do AT ALL.

i hate fishing, hunting, crabs, and stuffed ham.  i don't see what's so great about the ocean, i hate getting sand in my privates, i'm not catholic, and i generally don't like catholics either, and i HATE country music.  

i don't belong here.

i go to meetings, but that's really the only thing i can do here.  i cover community events for the paper here, but i have to say this community is the most podunk boring shithole i've ever lived in, so that coverage doesn't amount to much.  

i would get a second job so that i could move quicker, because my job with the paper doesn't pay me enough to cover my rent, much less save anything for moving, but that would eat into my meetings and i'm not willing to sacrifice the one network of people around here i can stomach.  plus, i'm fresh back from a relapse and thus recommitting myself to recovery, so i'm hearing a lot of the old "don't make any major changes your first year" crap.

but honestly.  does it HAVE TO BE THAT WAY?  i'm miserable here!  if i went someplace with just a LITTLE bit of culture, SOMETHING that i could connect with, then maybe i wouldn't be so bored and angry and dejected as i am now.