When i have panic attacks sometimes they are out of no where for no reason i can be watching tv or laying in bed or recently asleep and all of a sudden it hits me like a ton of breaks. My heart starts to race i feel the pulse in my legs and feet, my left arm will go numb and tingle to my finger tips and thats when my brain says its no longer a panic attack and im quick to rush off to the hospital. When i do go they tell me my heart is ok after running test, ill be a complete mess and feel im so stupid for even going and running up another bill. But in the moment of panic i cant turn my mind off or redirect my thoughts to ‘its not a heart attack’. I have kids so a big fear is dying and leaving them not being here when im their mom and they need me. There still is so much in life i havent done that i want to do. But i live in constant fear everyday. I take medication everyday and sometimes thats not enough. I have ruined friendships because of this i wake up my family at all hours of the night because i cant control it. I battle depression have since i was very young and it makes it worse i didnt start having panic attacks till i was 19 years old im 32 now and they havent changed i cant seem to get rid of them and all i can do is pray. I found this site after reaching out for help although i googled it before i got a response cause i couldnt seem to wait to get help. I feel im drowning i have talked to my doc im in pretty good health other than the panic attacks. But its alot to carry at times and its alot to have to deal with me i feel so bad for my family i feel as though im to much and it causes them stress and restless nights dealing with me. i know thats what family is for but i cant help but feel this way. Anyways thanks for reading and listening. I hope everyone is in a safe spot in their life.