At first depression and anxiety felt like a far off thought, it had never happened to anyone in my close circle of friends or family. So my ideas about these particular psychological issues were very limited. I had no family issues, or any childhood troubles that could have built any degree of deep depression in my subconscious. I was a normal child, with a great circle of friends with a highly dynamic personality.
I moved to a bigger city after college to pursue my profession as a photographer. Maybe during this time the pressures of staying alone and working got the best of me. It was only after a year of suffering from depression, I realized I had depression. In this one year I would cry at the drop of a hat, would feel unconfident and constantly obsessed about being an under achiever.
I was in a negative space for the longest time. There were days when I did not want to leave my bed all day, not face the world or just carry out my routine work. I thought of it as just mood swings but the feeling passed itself on to the next day. I stopped meeting my friends, hadn’t clicked a decent picture nor had I edited my previous stock in days. Things just kept escalating to a point where I was not happy at all.
In a couple of days it struck me that I might be going through something unusual as my behavior had a pattern. I decided to visit the psychiatrist without telling anyone as I wanted to clear my doubts first before letting my family or friends help me with the condition. I was given a full body check-up and got reports of a heavily deficient B12 and D. It was because of the deficiencies I used to feel tired and demotivated which acted against my state of mind. And I had also developed ulcers in my mouth due to an extremely low vitamin D.
So the doctor suggested me to work on my body first in order to prepare myself to deal with my mental state. She told me how the body functioned like an organization with the head being the boss, who had the ability to dictate or run the system. I had to apply the same tactic with myself, syncing my mind and body in a perfect harmony. So I focused on being social, indulged in sports to cope with depression. It was tough in the beginning, as others don’t understand your situation, as well as constantly feeling guilty of putting your close ones through such difficulties.
According to Everydayhealth.com, Depression is different for everyone, but it typically develops because of a combination of factors. Psychotherapy, or talk therapy, is designed to help people identify and effectively deal with the psychological, behavioral, interpersonal, and situational aspects of their depression. My psychiatrist worked closely with me whenever I had bad days and it relieved my anxiety. Also my friends and family supported me and gave me, the required space to cope with this condition.
However it was not as simple as I have penned it down. There used to be days when even staying alone would be nerve wrecking. Even a bad weather had the capacity to bring my spirits down. Its days like these when you have to hold yourself together. I am in a good space now. There are relapses once in a while, but I have learnt to deal with them efficiently as opposed to when I wasn’t aware of the situation.