I'm going to be a mother to a beautiful baby girl,n I'm afraid. I'm afraid my anxiety will keep me from being the best mom I can be, I'm afraid of having a panic attack around my daughter. I ask myself constantly are you really ready to be a mom? My head is fill with what ifs. I just want to be confident and not afraid. Even though I have yet to hold her, every time I see her via ultrasound I'm filled with so much joy and love. I want to be strong for my baby girl. I worry so much at times, and get stuck in my head, that I forget to just breathe and stay in the present moment. I'm going to find a therapist, so I can start therapy next week and work on ways of coping and dealing with these feelings. I want to learn more about cognitive behavioral therapy,and any other tools I can use to help me as a new mom. I want peace of mind,to not wake up so anxious and worried. Having anxiety, depression, ocd, and panic disorder and being pregnant is very very hard. I had a bad panic attack the other day. I was taking a nap, and I felt my heart beating hard and racing in my chest, my first thought was to wake up and drink a cold glass of water, as soon as I got up , it hit me harder, I started hyperventilating, and I couldn't catch my breathe, I ended up calling 911 and they came out to our apartment, of course the panic attack started to go away as soon as help arrived. They took my vitals and all was well. I just hate that feeling of intense fear for no reason. The chest tightness n pain. I wish one day I wake up and I'm healed of these disorders. Till then I just wanna learn how to cope, and enjoy my life. I'm tired of living in fear.