Here. I always go periods of time that I don't sign in here but at some point always come back. I guess I feel safe here when I'm feeling low. Like I don't have to hide who I am and pretend to be strong all the time… because honestly… I always fall to pieces at some point. It seems like whenever I start to do well then something always happens to put me far back again. I guess that's part of life… I should know this. Does it make it any easier? No. Sometimes it is but most of the time it's not. My finances are terrible which is one of my biggest worries. It's son my mind constantly. I feel like this whole keeps getting bigger and I can't find my way out. I know i will but I wish it was sooner Than later. My romantic life also leave much to be desired. I have been through the ringer with that. I stopped hoping and believing. Then I meet this guy who is rough around the edges but has what seems like a genuine heart. He is a wounded soul like myself only ten times worse. I had no intention of letting him in to my heart… but he has. As of lately though he seems to be getting distant and I find myself almost begging for his attention. Something I've stopped seeking because it reminds me of my loveless marriage. I know he's got alot on his mind right now and that could be a major factor but still. I don't think I deserve what I'm getting. I've told him several times since the begging that if he wasn't feeling this that he just needs to tell me and we'll go our separate ways. That's always a hurtful thing to hear that hey I'm not feeling you so we just need to stop this. I'd rather be hurt that way then cheated on. With all the chaos in my life work (which is miserable), the kids (still having rough times with them too), and now my “love life”… I wish one was good. My heart can't take all this. It beats me down all the time and I just feel like locking myself in my room and sleeping (ha! That's another thing I can't ever sleep) and just wollow in my own bullshit. It all becomes to.much sometimes and I just need to get away sometimes. Since I can't do that I come here.i just want things not to affect me so much. I really hate that they do. I just need a hug and to cry until I just can't cry anymore. I can't even do that because I have to keep my brave face on for my kids. I just can't and need to let all this hurt out because it's just taking a toll… =(