My youngest adult son is challenging to deal with and I am about to share why.

First, I always had to force him to do his required studying from the time he was in 3rd grade.    He battled against learning and he did the bare minimum to get by.

We tried public school, home school, computer curriculum, and making sure he had plenty of art supplies for his art gift which he doesn’t even have interest in developing as well.  He is very talented in art.

Now, surprise or not to you, his reality is a retail job.   He wants something better.   Yet, in the past (earlier this year) when he promised he would study for a career in ——— if we let him resign from retail job.   He studied for two weeks and then stopped.   He started just playing video games, sleeping and eating.

As a adult, his consequence was to go back to work because he isn’t a privileged child who we are going to baby and let him “play” while we support him.   No way!

Now, he works in retail again (the only thing he is qualified for since he has always done the bare minimum in his education.)

He is flat out throwing adult verbal tantrums and is trying to talk me into letting him resign to full time self study another career.   He is insisting like last time he can’t study when not working even though we ask him to do zero chores when not working.   He has free time and doesn’t even work full time!

Today, he used all kinds of manipulative attempts towards me to let him quit his job.  The summary is that no I don’t believe him that he would full time study if he can’t even part time study while he works part time!

He is adult who has to make studying work around working part time.    It isn’t okay for him to play video games, work and sleep and expect something different.

He can manage his time and work, study and sleep and then show us that he is capable and willing to full time study and follow through.

It is really something how he expects to just find something other than a retail or factory job with his education.   He did bare minimum and I had to force him for each and every step along way to just have a bare bones education.  He fought it every step along the way.   He wanted to quit school in the 3rd grade! I forced him to keep doing his school work and he battled back with his stubborn ways and did the bare minimum saying he knew enough and was done with learning.

His dad and siblings have told him to quit complaining to them that he hates working retail and wants a better job.  Yet, he doesn’t use his time off work to prepare for something else to earn a living.   His dad told him last night that he could quit if he would shut up about how much he hated working retail.    I spoke up and said no way.   He isn’t going back to video game playing, sleeping and eating! He is a adult and retail and factory work as his options with his choices and level of education in our area (in the country.)

He is furious and being manipulative toward me with guilt and angry verbal out burst.

People manage to study part time, work full time  raise families, do chores, cook, clean etc! It takes effort to make one life better!

I won’t tolerable him quitting his job without another and showing some effort with studying towards a career!

He isn’t from wealth and there isn’t and there was never a promise of him being a pampered adult “child” privilege life style.

Is this a generational entitlement thing that any other parents have dealt with or are dealing with this in a adult child?

The other adult children we have raised have a strong study and work ethic.

I didn’t “baby” or protect the children and they were raised knowing that no one owes them anything in the work force or in life .   People tend to assume that all moms baby their children and don’t enforce rules and boundaries.   I am and have rules.   They don’t have a trust fund or any wealth to fall back on.   They have to work to pay for their car insurance and car as well.

I can’t figure out where his sense of entitlement and manipulative efforts to be a useless “blob.”

Yes, he can live at home as a young adult but he has to work and or /study for a career actively!

Thanks for letting me share my experience with this son.   I am standing firm.   He can study past time and work part time.   He didn’t follow through last time (earlier this year) and now I can’t believe him that he would follow through!

I am thinking while he still knows everything that he may need to put his money where his mouth is   Maybe he needs to struggle to buy food (and etc) to get motivated and appreciate the fact that someone is willing to let him earn a paycheck!

He seems to think that he is above his retail job and he just deserves some dream job without putting in the time, studying and sacrifice!

His siblings are not like him and both work full time and go to college! They appreciate their paychecks and being employed.  Same parents and raised in the same home as youngest son.   The same middle class income and no one has ever financially spoiled any of our children.   I don’t get it.

He doesn’t drink alcohol, smoke or use drugs on the bright side.   If he did, he wouldn’t live at home

I know other parents are dealing with their children, teens, and adult children with other issues.  I can say for sure that he isn’t any of the above

It isn’t easy being a parent but all we can do is our best    Best of patience and hope to all parents and people who are raising children!

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 Comment
  1. standingtree 2 years ago

    maybe Addiction shows up as the blog category because it sounds like your youngest son is addicted to playing video games.
    You worked hard to raise all your children well. I’m sorry for your disappointment.

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    0 kudos

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