And then I found out I don't have mental health insurance. I used to be covered under my dad's health insurance, but I turned 26 last summer. I've been on Medicaid since and I've only seen my primary doctor twice now.

I'm feeling fairly certain that I have adult ADHD. And that I've likely had this for years. I could describe why, but it would sound like I was reading straight off of a list of symptoms. I have them all. I can't cope with it anymore. I'm graduating in May. I feel like I won't make it until then. So I talked to my primary doctor and she was really nice and understanding. But she said she doesn't know much about ADHD so she recommended me to a psychiatrist.

I looked up the psychiatrist and found out they don't take my insurance. Then I tried to look up psychiatrists who would take my insurance and couldn't find any. Then I called my insurance and they told me they don't cover mental health. I have to look into something called Community Care. I called Community Care and they said that psychiatrists are hard to come by. He recommended one in the area. I called that psychiatrist and he isn't taking new patients. He told me I have to contact something called Health Services and they'll set me up with an "intake."

I'm just completely turned off by this whole experience. I don't know what to do. I called my primary doctor today (I just saw her yesterday and went through this all last night). She wasn't in so I left a message. I'm feeling hopeless. I don't want to see some nameless "intake." I was hesitant about seeing a psyhiatrist to begin with and now I don't want to see anyone. I don't know what to do. I talked to someone for the first time (and almost started to cry while I did) and she seemed to really care. But now there's all this red tape.

Why does my misfortune feel so fated? Of course this happens to me. When I called the Community Care place, the guy on the phone sounded JUST like the concierge (Tom Noonan) in Anomalisa. How perfect is that? I just can't handle this anymore and now I feel completely lost. I don't know what to do.

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