Weird, isn't it, how people can nag you without you speaking to them? 

 

Like with the x, a week and a half ago i asked him to let me be, and I'¨ve ignored him since. But he still tries to get in touch with me. Over the past ten days I've had 13 messages over facebook. 21 e-mails. I don't know how many text messages over the phone, because I've had people erase them for me. 

It changes, from "threats" to come here, where I live, and find me, to accusations of me being childish and immature (yes, I've seen the headlines of the e-mails) to saved chats (!) where he's holding things against me. The past few days he's been overly friendly, asking me to let him help me. But it is still weird, too much, too needy, too crowded. If he'd calmed down, and maybe asked me if i needed any help in a few months, it would maybe be ok. But now? It's too soon, it's too weird, he's not getting over me the way he should. He's trying every possible way to get back in contact with me, or get me back. He's changing tactics every two days or so, from anger, to blame, to being friendly, to apologize, back to anger and blame and playing on my bad self esteem. 

I know the best thing for me is to keep ignoring him, he's too obessed, too keen, too needy. He needs to get me out of his system, and the only way to do that, as he refuses to, is to ignore him. Even though, I would not be amazed if he turned up at my door. Or at my pub. Or wherever in the environment. Yup, the trip he used to think was too long to bother with just to pick me up (about 15 mins, while I could use an hour to get there by tram and train), is "nothing" now. I feel a bit haunted, I feel afraid, or anxious, to check my e-mail, or logging on to FB. He's not my friend on FB, and I've set my Gmail status to "invisible"… He's controling parts of my life I would not like him to control. That he does not deserve to control. And yet I let him…. Because I'm trying to do the best thing, for both him and me. 

 

Am I the one insane?

1 Comment
  1. marriahh 11 years ago

     Hi SullenGirl76. 

    Thank you for you comments and insight! 

    I mostly wrote the blog to vent, get things off my chest… But to answer your questions: After doing the "stay in touch"-mistake, I had to tell him to leave me alone. And yes, it was in a way not possible to misinterprete, in plain language, "I would appreciate if you left me alone now". 

    The relationship lasted over three years, and I've never held anything back from him about my psycologichal troubles. He knows me well, and knows how and what I react to, and that's what bothers me the most; the concious decition he makes to use that knowledge to provoke me to react to his messages… I guess he'll calm down after a while…

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