i thought it would be different this time.
i was so extremely wrong.
i thought that maybe this relationship wouldn't fall apart like all the other's.
it took you a while to get me to trust you.
at first i didnt want anything more than friendship.
but after months you finally got to me.
it started great, too bad i didnt know then that it would end.
you got lucky that i would trust you.
i never would have thought you were the person to do this.
i finally trusted you enought to get out of my comfort zone and do what you wanted to.
at this point i even warned you about how much i trusted you.
i did things i said i wouldn't ever do for anyone again.
you would have thought that i would have figured it out by now.
i told you how fragile i was.
then i had finally let go of everything i've been holding onto.
then out of nowhere all the happiness i thought i had finally found again was ripped away.
and the feeling of having a hole in my chest is back.
i thought you could only endure pain like this once in your life.
yet here i am again, holding myself so i don't fall apart.
well lesson learned, never trust another person again.
i can only handle this hurt so many times before i'm completely broken.
i thought i had my emotions under control and i would be able to take it.
but now i see i'm not as strong as i thought i was.
as the depression is already settling in,
i will fight against the urges rising back up into my brain.
i've been trying so hard for way too long.
and now i realize i don't have anyone to be there for me.
i could end all of this right now but i know i'm at least strong enought to keep myself from doing that.
but for now, i quit.
whats the point in trying anymore when everything i aim for gets taken away.
i'm such a failure and i'm sick of being reminded of that.
i'm not sure if i will be able to come back from this heartbreak..