I feel like I'm losing it. I've never felt so close to just not being able to handle anything. I feel like I desperately need to talk to someone but when I try or even think about trying I feel stuck. I'm already guessing the reaction and responses I will get and the disatisfaction I will feel, sending me deeper into my hell. I feel like I'm coming unraveled as I type this. I'm finding myself searching endlessly for someone who I cannot go to anymore. For all the wrong reasons, someone I should leave alone. I feel like I've messed up my life and backed myself into a corner. I know people say it gets better and there's hope and you have to try but I don't want to. I can't stand how I am feeling and it goes away when I smoke but then it comes back with avengance and I can't be high all the time, not that it would help but I can't do this I am freaking out. I need help and I don't know where to go anymore. Maybe there isn't anything anyone can say anymore to make me feel better. Maybe I am just at the end and I need to shit or get off the pot. My life is sad, I hate looking in the mirrior, I feel sorry for myself far too often. I'm longing for everything I'll never have becasue I'll never think I'm good enough for any of it. I'm not who I want to be or anywhere near it. I'd be better off dead then living a life of constant disappointment and failure. I can't take living with myself, inside my head in my body. I want it all to stop. I need the nothingness. I don't want to feel or see or know. It's too hard. I want a game over.
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Finally getting help…again
rainaoki, , Depression, Anxiety, Medication, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, 1
Friday the 28th, i had an appointment with my doctor and i am back on medication again. This time...
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31st May 2009
OrchidX, , Depression, Medication, Relationships, 0
It’s been awhile since I last posted a blog here and I’ve been meaning to write here again for...
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New here
VividDreamer, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Relationships, 1
I have been on anxiety tribe for a while. I just feel I want to be here too. My...
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Could Use a Shoulder
solitarios, , Depression, ADHD, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Child, Depression, Personality Disorder, Relationships, 3
I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and ADHD basically my whole life. It seems like lately...
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Tell me something I didnt know
BeOptimistic, , Depression, Anxiety, Personality Disorder, 0
Stability results were very low which suggests you are extremely worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Orderliness results were...
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Positives & Negatives
hopelessdreamer81, , Depression, Career, Depression, Relationships, Therapist, Therapy, Weight Loss, 1
So here’s a *helpful* little exercise my counselor used to think would cure my depression. Write the positives in...
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The Hero and the Madman
xreluna, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, Anxiety, Career, Depression, Grief, Mindfulness, PTSD, Relationships, 0
Hey person who is likely struggling with their tailor-made dilemmas. It’s tough thinking of ways to do better for...
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That “D” word….
Serrinatta, , Depression, Depression, Medication, Social Anxiety, 0
Partly this is just to air out what I’m feeling now, and also to get advice. I’ve been diagnosed...