I remember my life before and where I am now, I should be ashamed, disgusted, even embarrassed but when the suicide attempts dont work, must mean this is my destiny.

I’ve talked about doing sex work before, so no surprise there.  But since my brain injury, or TBI, my whole behavior has changed. Where I got super angry at anything and everything, had shitty balance, walked and talked like a drunk, and was always horny, doing a lot of sexual acting out and worst of all, seizures.  The therapy helped me get a handle on the anger part, a bit. My balance is still off, but better.  I don’t sound or walk like a total drunk, but I sometimes do slur.  The 2 things that have remained, seizures and being horny.  Now that I’m on my own, having to make money to survive, I still get with guys who pay me.  Sometimes a woman, but that is rare.

I get bored easy so I will hitchhike to different places.  I try to get with truck drivers, they are usually a lot nicer and safer than randoms on the freeway. Plus, they know where to drop me off where I can jump out and start making some money.  In my travels, I have had some serious fun, working clubs, streets, motels, even a few undercover brothels.  I’ve also been forced into some really bad situations but that is how life is, sometimes you get the good, sometimes the bad.

I lucked into my new place.  I am living with some guys who grow pot for a bunch of the dispensaries. Since getting with them, whatever their pot blend is, I havent had a seizure and they are able to keep my horny under control.  A few times they have friends over and we party. No one gets jealous or possessive. We all have fun and enjoy each other.  I finally found a place where I’m not judged, not hurt and I’m happy.

1 Comment
  1. Author
    beccasweet 2 years ago

    Thanks…and I’m glad we are friends too. I’m doing ok, I kinda like who I am now. My angry self is under control, I even laff now. I wear a mask whenever I go out, only time its off is if the guy wants head. But now that I’m with these guys, I’m not working the streets, just working with them in their biz.
    How are things where you are? This virus thing is nasty bad.

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