Being stuck in anything that makes you angry is not good. It takes so much of your energy and desire away. This season that I find myself in is very frustrating. I had been doing so good emotionally. Last August I had to have another surgery on my knee and things were kind of iffy in the beginning. I went into a deep depression and basically cut myself off from everyone. But as time went by and things improved, I slowly started back on the road to health and a clearer mind.
Everyone around me began rejoicing in my being back to my old talkative self. I had energy and was finally getting things done. During this time my family would tell me how scared they had been and how happy they were that I was better. I was happy too.
Then a few weeks ago I began having moments of feeling empty, but was able to keep functioning. Everyday I woke up feeling just a tad bit more angry with no reason behind it. I worked everyday not to let anyone know what was going on figuring that I would work my way through it. I used every trick that I have learned over the years to find my way back.
I have become so apathic and all reason for living is slowly leaving my grip. There is no reason for this mood. I am a very blessed person. That being said, I am afraid that if I don't get myself unstuck soon, that I might take the wrong road and never return.
I know I should reach out for help but I don't want those close to know my state of mind, so I will reach out to strangers who understand and pray that the right words or thoughts will come flowing my way.