I received a response back from some one and they discribed panic attack as one of there symptoms. This got me to thinking about, have I had any panic attacks in the past. Because i lived with ocd for 35 years without knowing I had it, many of my analysis of the disorder comes from reflections of memories from the past. I looked up panic attack in wikipedia ( I don’t think I spelled that right, and i am starting to think maybe I have had them. many times when I am confronted with very stressful situtions, for example, when someone really pisses me off, I get this pain in my kidneys, it feel like someone is knifing me in the sides. My heart rate gets really tense, and the urge to beat the hell out of the person kind of over takes me, but my mind says no, it is wrong to hit other people, even if you are mad. Though you can get angry at people, you do not have the right to. Then I have to spend a while calming down. Sometimes, i get so emotional that it brings me to tears, even though i am not sad. The cycle goes like this, first I get fustrated, angry, then mad, and then i get all kind of images in my head, then i get pain in my sides, both kidneys, sometimes i do get chest pains, but they are usually brief, then it gets very hard for me to talk, I loose some breath, as I try to speak or hold it together, then I tune out what ever is happening to me, sort of dreamescape to other thoughts, or if i can i walk away, then i have to be by myself for a while, sometimes I get mygraines or my noise starts to run. Sometimes it is just a suttle headache. I am wondering is that what a panic attack is, because when i walk up to women I really like, I get the same reaction…why do i do this, am I weird or broken?
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general signs of a panic attack are as you decsribe, which can be controlled with meds they are working great for me, the feeling of anger and frustration you get in confrontational situations are most likely the adrenalin which is something we all get in times of stress or anxirty or situations as you talk about these are normal in everybody more in our condition. this sounds to me as your body goes through something called the fight or fly, which if you dont know is basically say for instance you are in a church and all of a sudden you get the urge to stand up and yell out something totally inapropriate but you realise that you wont, well at the same time your body is producing adrenalin and getting ready for process. well im not sure if i have exp[lained it well because im not deleting anything i write anymore and im not gonna check it back im over coming an ocd, so dont worry mate you are normal and its good that you dont beat the shit out of people even if they do deserve it.
When I had panic attacks I though I was having a heart attack. My heart beat got so fast it felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. My breathing went mad also. Very frightening.
there are somedays I feel like I am having a heart attack, but i am not in a stressfull situation. sometimes I will be standing there and i can feel the pressure in my chest, and my arm starts to hurt. I think, usually it happens when i am really concentrating on some thought, or many thoughts at one time. Especially sometimes, I will be going over a situation that I experieneced, where confrentation was not a option. I think to myself, or role play out in my head, the situation and what I wanted to do, versus, what I did. Kind of like when I walk up to women. I start going over in my head, what i should do, but then I don’t do anything. I used to get that way with alcohol, well at least until I discovered rum. Initially, I was afraid to drink alcohol, because I didn’t want to become a drunk or alcoholic. Now since I am on meds, I can’t drink. I started drinkking when I was 33, even then I drank like once or twice a year, sometimes in the summer. When I did started drink, in my mind I felt that I had accomplished something important and necessary for personal growth. For some weird reason, I thought it was not healty to not want to drink out of fear. On top of all that, I have this thing, with people who try to intimidate me, or feel like they can threaten me. It doesn’t matter if it is a small event or large event, I feel the panic attack set in, and i know at that moment, they are trying to take advantage of me, and then I go into lock down mode, and start closing myself off from people.
im on beater blockers for my panic attacks 1 10mg tab 3 times a day the smallest dose and i tell you mate they work miracles, the rest is down to me, you see the mind can play tricks on you and i mean severe tricks, sometimes you have to fight back and get in toe with your body again i know its easier said than done but sometimes you have to beat the ocd back, never lose sight of who you can be, and just keep trying mate
when i get my panic attack i feel my self go white then i feel like i cant breathe everything goes crazy i feel like the end has come,i find breathing in and out in a brown paper bag helps a small bag and breathe slowly but deep breathes in and out slowly,if you feel silly with the bag breathe the same without the bag,silly but it helps to controle your breathing then your body calms down i use to get them on and off all day every day then they stopped now i started getting them again about 6 weeks ago,yes they are so frightening you will know if you have had a panic attack you feel like running for help when it hits you as you are so scared