I am 36 years old. Married, two kids under the age of 8. About two months ago I had unprotected sex with another man other than my husband. My husband and I have not had sex in over a year or so. We have many issues in our marriage that I reached out to this other man. I met him one night and got really drunk and well u know the rest. I haven't talked to this other man since because I did not want to be with him. About a month after the incident, I developed a really itchy rash all over my body followed by a dry cough. After a couple weeks of the rash not going away, I googled rashes associated with STDs. I totally panicked and lost alot of sleep over the next few days. Now I am experiencing swollen lympth node in my neck and what I believe is oral thrush, fatique, my nails have changed and stress. Why did I do this? How could I kill my childrens mother? My husband will leave me and take the kids from me. I cant bear the thought of losing my kids. The shame and the guilt is killing me. What will I do when my husband throws me out without a job or two legs to stand on? I will be homeless on the streets. I haven't taken an HIV test yet but I already know the answer. Im scared of losing my family and bringing shame upon them. I have done alot of thinking these past few days about what i will do. I have thought about keeping this to myself and spending what time I have left on this earth with my family. I have thought about waiting a few months to enjoy the summer we have planned. I have thought about packing my things and just leaving so they will never know what I have done to them. I'm so lost…..