I am 36 years old. Married, two kids under the age of 8. About two months ago I had unprotected sex with another man other than my husband. My husband and I have not had sex in over a year or so. We have many issues in our marriage that I reached out to this other man. I met him one night and got really drunk and well u know the rest. I haven't talked to this other man since because I did not want to be with him. About a month after the incident, I developed a really itchy rash all over my body followed by a dry cough. After a couple weeks of the rash not going away, I googled rashes associated with STDs. I totally panicked and lost alot of sleep over the next few days. Now I am experiencing swollen lympth node in my neck and what I believe is oral thrush, fatique, my nails have changed and stress. Why did I do this? How could I kill my childrens mother? My husband will leave me and take the kids from me. I cant bear the thought of losing my kids. The shame and the guilt is killing me. What will I do when my husband throws me out without a job or two legs to stand on? I will be homeless on the streets. I haven't taken an HIV test yet but I already know the answer. Im scared of losing my family and bringing shame upon them. I have done alot of thinking these past few days about what i will do. I have thought about keeping this to myself and spending what time I have left on this earth with my family. I have thought about waiting a few months to enjoy the summer we have planned. I have thought about packing my things and just leaving so they will never know what I have done to them. I'm so lost…..

5 Comments
  1. PrincessWarrior 9 years ago

    I totally agree with thewiz…sometimes guilt can kill you. Not all people with HIV have symptoms so take the test and go from there. Besides humans make mistakes and we have to live with our choices. Make the best of your life and just live it! God Luck…

    |
    0 kudos
  2. StillaRose 9 years ago

    First things first! Get tested! After the result comes then you take the next step in what you have to do.God willing it will be negative, if so- you should still be honest with your husband about your infidelity.  The not knowing will harm you more than the knowing of your diagnosis…. Good Luck and I wish you well.

    |
    0 kudos
  3. Gman 9 years ago

    like Teknique sead do not do anithing rash get tested thay hae new tests you will know right away

    |
    0 kudos
  4. Gman 9 years ago

    i have read all the posts we all agree get tested

    |
    0 kudos
  5. lauriebaby 9 years ago

    Before you panic and think every thing is amiss go get tested and wait for the results if it is that talk to a therpist and then talk to your husband explain to him what happen and why it happen. If he trulys love u he will understand why all of this came about. I know consquences are bad but it might not be. If both of u love each other very much you and him can work through it. In my case i couldn't he didn't try to understand what went wrong, he didn't won't to listen either right now we are seperated been that way for five years it don't bother me any more i just keep living. You might have a chance to work it out it will take some time but it just might wrok for u.

    |
    0 kudos

Leave a reply

© 2021 WebTribes Inc. | find your tribe

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account