I feel like I will have no choice but to end my life.
My life is an embarrassment and I can’t stop living in fear. Fear rules my life. I fear my mother, I fear my sister. I fear the idea of trying to get a new job. I fear so many things it’s ridiculous and it prevents me from living life right.
I can’t keep getting older, watching the years fly by, and letting fear rule my life. So if I don’t figure out a way to overcome it in the next year or two, I feel I have no choice but to end it.
(Of course that would mean somehow overcoming my FEAR of death lol).
Thanks for listening….
Oh wait, looks like I need to have a minimum of 300 words(!) for my blog to post? Gee, for someone who’s usually as chatty as me when it comes to blogging, that normally wouldn’t be too hard. Yet the one time I just want to write a brief blog to post, it tells me I don’t have ENOUGH words? That seems rather ridiculous to me. One more reason to dread this new format and all the horrible changes they made to what was a wonderful site.
Well, let’s see if that gets me to 300. If so, thanks again for listening.
Todd…
Okay, it still wasn’t enough. I counted 225 words. So I still have a little more to go apparently.
So to any and all that read this, I thank you so much for doing so. Being a list soul…just absolutely sucks, as I’m sure others on here can relate. I hope you all are doing well and are adapting to this new drab, colorless, confusing revision of this site better than I am. Okay, I think that’s 300.
And thank you again.
Todd

5 Comments
  1. Author
    gomizzou 4 years ago

    Thank you Lyra. 🙂

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  2. harvey01 4 years ago

    I have often felt that suicide was the only way to end the pain. I understand what you mean when you say the years just keep going by. I don’t have any friends and my job is bringing me more grief. Yet, for a brief moment I experienced a happiness I never thought I would. I met someone and it was wonderful. It didn’t last and in the end it hurt but I still got to experience something great. I fight and hold on to the belief that it can happen again.
    You have to hold on. Amazing things can happen. There is good out there. We can’t believe the worst about ourselves we have to know that were are good and worthwhile.

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  3. Author
    gomizzou 4 years ago

    Thank you Newlease1. 🙂

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  4. whoami2 4 years ago

    Hi Todd.

    The true meaning of fear is when one refuses to go outside the comfort zone of.

    The very best way to overcome fear is to confront it, confront it, and confront it until it no longer is.

    All the best with it.

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