As you may or may not have noticed i havent been on here since june. to be honest i dont really know why, i think i have been denying that i have a problem and passing it off that my worrying is a perfectly normal part of everyday life. truth is its not. its ruling my life and wrecking my relationship. not only with my partner but with friends and family too.
so here i am again, giving the site another go. i think it did help back in june looking at blogs and profiles and proving to myself that im not the only one going through this, its good to talk to like minded people who know the way your mind thinks and know the mental torture you go through every day. so come on everyone reading this, get in touch!!
so now its confession time……. the worrying is still there and it is as worse as ever, i know this deep down so why cant i stop it? every minuite of every day is filled with a fear of what could happen and i cant escape, i feel so trapped.
it is weighing my partner down too, he doesnt let on as to how much but i can see it. half the time he cant talk to me because i will just worry about everything hes said and the other half of the time hes walking on egg shells because ive got so worked up by worrying all day!
so what has been bugging me all day today? i know you will probably read this and think its all stupid little things, which it is but to me these are the everyday things that take over my thinking! here goes todays worries:…..
what if i dont get up in time for work tomorow?
what if i spend too much money food shopping today?
what do we have for dinner?
what if i do something wrong at work?
if i txt someone and dont get a reply i think ive upset them, if my partners in a bad mood i think its because of me, i constantly worry about being at work when its my day off and when im at work i worry about my home life
gggggggggrrrrrrrrrr im so fed up, please help
xxx
if u put it in basic words: you are scared…….no one likes to say they are scared. esp. if u can't tell, anyone way u r scared. when, u cannot see it like a "broken arm", it's hard for people to understand. if u get panic attacks when u sleep, u wake up scared……soon, u may be scared all the time. it will always be in the back of your mind. u may have gad……but, that is just a new word, for what they called it 50 years ago: a bad case of the nerves. it may get worse, it may not……it comes in all degrees, just like "high blood pressure"……..it can take away your life, and leave u living…..or u may have a mild case, where u can still sleep.(not mild to u, i know)…..it is genetics, chemistry, …..but, knowing that does not help you. it is not the "disease" that make it impossible, but the misery it causes you. i wish, they took it more serious: u don't see anti-anxiety ads on tv….u know it's all illogical, so is high blood pres., or heart disease…..u can eat right, exercise, …etc, but still have it…..don't know. hope your husband can understand, it is better if u have somone that can……