Since I only have one game for my Wii so far (the one that I bought), I decided to try playing a Gamecube game for old time's sake since the Wii can do that. My brother basically claimed every game ever bought so they're all in his bedroom. I decided to head on over and see what I could find.

Once inside, I found 15 empty or half empty cans of soda, a pile of dirty clothes, and game cases covered in ice cream and other food and dirt. The ones I was looking for, however, were empty.

I found two of the discs – among many, many, many others – simply laying in a dirty and disheveled drawer. They're covered in filth and scratched all to hell and back. Unplayable.

I showed my Mom and all she had to say was, "Well, I just buy them, if they break oh well." What is so fucking irritating about this is that she spent $50 on each one and then expected my Dad to pay the bills and buy her brat a car and pay the insurance on it. Yep, my brother is 19 years old and my Dad pays for his car insurance among many other things. Mom considers the thousands she's spent on games that he broke to be entirely separate, never taking into consideration that it was a waste and could have been put towards something far more useful than rotting his brain.

I got so mad that I brought a handful of them out and said, "Look at this. Hundreds of dollars gone." Her response was, "I can see that buying you that game just caused a bunch of problems." You see how she pulls that shit on me? She expected to buy me a console – with no games to play on it while my brother has hundreds – and when I found that the only ones I could play were all broken, she blamed me. Me. She blamed me because she couldn't stand to blame her baby boy. She allowed him, for well over a decade, to break games out of sheer laziness and it's my fault.

And even better yet, when I called him up to ask him to help me find the games, he said, "I'm busy". So I went downstairs to see what he was so "busy" with…he was "busy" playing World of Ihavenolifecraft. I don't care if my Mom wants to go to the fair, I'm not fucking going. These people make me fucking sick. Thousands of dollars thrown into video games, my brother with no job, my Mom letting him sit around, treating him like a 9 year old, and then blaming me for calling them on this shit.

After they leave, I'm going downstairs and removing that damn iPod from his account. If he wants an Authenticator to protect his shit, he can get off his large ass and figure it out on his own. I want to separate myself from these people. I'm the only one who forces herself to go places or do things just to make others happy. Everyone else just does what makes them happy and I'm so caught up in feeling bad that I'm the one suffering. So if Mom wants to go to the fair because it makes her happy, that is fine. It doesn't make me happy so I'm not going.

You watch though – when my brother gets back and sees that my iPod is missing, he'll get mad and start calling me names. He'll likely say, "You're fucking nuts" or call me a bitch. No one in my family is near smart enough to figure anything out. They think I'm just bipolar, that this shit is coming from no where. It never occurrs to any of them that this shit has been building and building for many, many years. My Mom has been babying my brother since he was born and I know she'll never stop. I was always the "bad" one, the one that was supposed to help out or be good or do this, do that. My brother was never expected to do jack shit and he was given the world. He has it made, his Mom cooks for him, cleans for him, buys him gifts, and all he does all day is stay up until 3:00am playing video games and then he sleeps in, gets up and does it all again the next day. And I'm just bipolar, I'm fucking nuts guys, I'm totally out of my mind, I'm emotionally unhinged, that's it, that must be it!

I gotta change, I have to. This shit of feeling bad because I'm not a good enough daughter or getting upset because my Mom's life sucks needs to flat out stop. No one else cares, no one helps, no one spends time with one another and I know that I am hurting myself by continually attempting to hold myself to standards that my family doesn't even care about trying to reach.

But ask yourself this – who is crazier? Me or the kid who says that breaking games is okay because they're old? Ask yourself who you think is mentally unhinged knowing what you do.

 

EDIT: Keep in mind that I'm not mad that my Mom didn't buy a game for my new console, I'm glad that she got me what she did. I'm mad that I should have games to play – the old Gamecube ones – but my brother broke most of them and she defends him. There was no logical excuse, even back then, for that kid having all of those games to himself and there sure as hell is no excuse for him breaking so many of them simply because he didn't feel like putting a little extra effort into putting them back in their protective cases. He's so spoiled and undeserving and it gets harder and harder to swallow this kind of crap the older I get.

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