I need to delete all my old social media but my passwords are long gone from my brain, Its just a good idea to do that.

Over the years I’ve started over lots of times, just unfriended myself really, and then everyone else because i cant do it and that’s it. I think its a good idea to delete all my social media and start afresh, i don’t talk to these people and wouldn’t like to bump into them so why not. If i simply have an instagram i actually never need to add anyone ever or actually say anything at all and that will make it easier.

People freak me out, they behave in ways i don’t understand and they depress me and trap me in situations i don’t want to be in and take more than i was offering or want more than i’m capable of giving and is healthy and its unfortunate that i don’t know how to deal with that over than lose focus and despair.

Its like they all want to be the winner or something every single person wants to be such a bastard bloodthirsty winner. When someone wants to behave like that with me i kinda just want to smash them over the head repeatedly with a brick, but i don’t. I don’t really have an alternative logical solution though because everyone is like that to such an extreme extent that i diver between trying to delude myself into wanting to win when i don’t really think that would be wise in the long run to completely giving up and falling into another an existential crisis.

I wish their was an island i could go to where everyone was micro chipped and if they tried to manipulate me or each other they would be shocked and everyone would play by the rules and everything would be cool.

Or at least like a translator on my phone so when people behave in hurtful ways it can tell me what to do about it and how to prevent them from doing that again in a way that isnt so dark.

My goal for today is to tidy up, its hard to do such a simple thing because i’m struggling with myself and with the person i live with.

But I have two things to do tommorow which are worse than tidying so why not tidy up. Everything about this situation pisses me off to such an extreme extent.

Maybe I’ll just use this to bitch about everything that pisses me off.