I hate writers block.
It consumes my every thought. I can't think of what to write because i'm stuck thingking about the inability TO write. I want to open my head and remove my brain. Dust out the cobwebs and maybe connect a few loose screws. I feel like every f'cking thing I write has been written before. I have nothing new to offer this life. Writing poetry is the only thing that makes me feel unique and even that thought is superficial. Everyone can write…anyone can put fragmented sentances down on a piece of paper or word document and claim some form of artistic writing style. You can write in any style you want and it doesn't even have to make sense. Acutally the less sense it does make the more people will say 'Ohh…how genious'. They say that because they think "i'm supposed to GET what this says…but i dont". We've all read a poem and not gotten wtf the author was talking about even in school…authors that they TEACH…but who can truly understand wtf they are talking abotu sometimes.
FYI, this is a mindless clusterf'ck of a rant.
Can't write anything else so blah!
I just wish I could wake up one day and f'cking words would be POURING out of me like some broken faucet. I know that then I"d not be able to catch all that came out but damnit…I feel so worthless when nothing comes. And what does come seems so redundant and stale. I need a fresh awakening. I need a new style of writing. I need a f'cking muse! Poet's need to experiance life to have experiances to WRITE ABOUT how can I experiance SHIT when I live in this 'safe little world'. Nothing happens to me, for me…and even when I put myself out there to taste life i get burned. It's almost worth nothing in this life to be a GOOD PERSON. No one says…hey you're a great person who doesn't ask for anything but the same respect and friendliness you put forth…No they dont! and if they did somehow someone would find SOMEWAY of exploiting it.
I hate money! I hate working just to GET MONEY just to GET BY. i want a job where i enjoy what i do..i enjoy wakeing up and getting to work and doing something that MEANS SOMETHING. my job means nothing. I answer phones and help out … A trained monkey could do my f'cking job. I bring nothing overly unique or special to my work place. I hate the LACK of money. I just for once would like to LIVE w/o constantly thinking how much money is this going to cost, how much money do i have or DONT have in the bank. I dont want to be like counting down to a f'cking payday anymore!!
I wish my job was to write. I dont know if i'd be making any money at it right now as i'm as dry as a river in phoenix but in general I like writing. It's meditative, contemplative and therapitic. (o thought i was gonna use all 'tive' words there didn't ya ;0)) Wtf can I do to shake up this boring way of writing, this same old bullshit explanation of HOW I FEEL. F'ck thers only so many ways you can 'artistically describe' feeling like SHIT.
bitching and whining over.