God I am so sick of people saying that they're going to do something that will supposedly help you out, and then they never do it.

It's like, if your going to tell me something, you better be damn sure that you're going to go through with it. I understand if it's the first time or, well no….I understand if something came up that literally stopped you from being able to do whatever it is, but if you don't do it just beacuse that's not fair.

UGH I'm just tired of being trampled, of trying to believe in someone to do something for me, then getting bitten in the ass, you know what I mean? It makes me so mad cuz I want really badly to believe in people, and to trust in them, but I keep getting burned, it almost makes me feel like why bother?

It would've been different if they hadn't said anything in the first place, at least then I would have no expectation, but they decided to say it. I didn't tell my dad to do anything, I didn't tell him to stay with me. He should've just left. I'd be better off without him. But he has to stay, be a horrible parent then when life gets bad, OH HEY I KNOW! LET'S LEAVE MY FAMILY FOR THE ARMY!!! WOOHOO!!!! SURE THEY NEED ME IN THEIR LIVES AND DON'T UNDERSTAND MY REASONING, BUT I'M BANKRUPT, SO LET'S GO TO THE LAND OF DREAMS!!!!!!

THEN LET'S NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT IT TO MY SIX YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WHO NEEDS HER FATHER!!! OH AND I KNOW HOW ABOUT AT AROUND 10 TO 12 LET'S PUT THE PRESSURE OF KEEPING THE FAMILY FROM FALLING ON HER SHOULDERS!!!!!!!! YEAH THAT'LL WORK!!!!!!! THEN WHEN SHE CONFRONTS ME ABOUT IT, I'M GONNA MAKE MATTERS WORSE FOR HER BY TELLING HER MY PERSONAL SHIT THAT SHE DOESN'T NEED TO FUCKING HEAR.

I'M TIRED OF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING I JUST WANT ALL THE BAD TO GO AWAY. IF ANYONE EVER ASKS WHY THERE'S SCARS ON MY ARMS, MAYBE THEY SHOULD JUST READ THIS.